A Breeze of Hope
by ALostHeart
Summary: AU/AH Caroline is caught in a sour relationship when Klaus unexpectedly shows up in her life again. She doesn't want to think about him, or what tore them apart years ago. However her desperate need for company directs her towards him repeatedly as she finds comfort, hope and a promise of a new beginning in his blue eyes and dimpled-smile.
1. Extinguished Fire

**So, originally, I was planning on not starting another fic until I'm done with the first one but the idea just wanted to get out of my head. **

**This will be dark and that's the main reason why it's M-rated, but I do hope you guys would give it a chance, I have great plans for it... Or I think :P As stated in the summary, it's an AU/AH. Also it will be told from both POVs (Klaus's and Caroline's OBVIOUSLY!). It won't be stated when I shift, but there will be a horizontal line between the two POVs. It won't be hard to tell anyway. **

**Disclaimer: yada yada yada**

**Special SPECIAL to my sister who is my super-awesome beta and who gave me the name after I almost banged my head against the wall trying to find one! **

**Enjoy :D **

* * *

**Prologue: Caroline**

* * *

Caroline Forbes? _Caroline Forbes? _

Upon reading the name of the applicant, I have to blink several times to recover from the momentary shock. The shock gradually converted into a heavy feeling of sadness as an old wound threatened to be torn apart, a wound that was never quite healed.

Caroline Forbes.

I sigh. And how can I forget that name? That name is carved across my heart so deeply that no one managed to remove it.

_Caroline Forbes. _

The name that reminds me of the greatest loss I have ever encountered; a loss that I will regret for the rest of my existence.

Caroline Forbes.

The name screams at me and without thinking it further, I push the buttons on my phone hurriedly.

'Yes, Mr. Mikealson?' the sweet receptionist Amy answers with an ever-present smile in her voice.

'I'd like you to schedule an interview with Miss Caroline Forbes as fast as you possibly can, Amy'

'It's Misses, sir' Amy softly corrects.

I wince. I should just scratch the whole idea, then. What is the use of seeing her now? After all, I would be only torturing myself. But the problem is that I actually quite enjoy tormenting myself, especially when it comes to that breathtakingly beautiful blonde.

'Right' I mutter 'Please do schedule her for an interview' I insist.

'As you wish, sir' Amy cheerfully says before hanging up.

I rest back in my seat, shutting my eyes close as a rush of unlikable memories force themselves into my mind.

* * *

**Chapter one: Extinguished Fire**

* * *

My hands are shaking. I am terrified. Hastily I run my thumbs over the keyboard, glancing repeatedly over my shoulder as though a ghost of a certain someone would pop out in front of me at any given moment. I have to keep reminding myself that he will not be here until quite some time. When the torturing process is finally over I hit send and breathe a quick sigh of relief that is short lived. I jump in my place when the phone rings.

Glancing at the clock, I pick up the phone.

_An hour exactly, _I think. I am too afraid to talk that my voice would expose me.

'Hello' I say, pretending that I am not completely and utterly unaware of whom the caller is.

'Hey, Care, it's me' his thick voice comes from the other end light.

_I know it's you. It's always you. _

'What are you doing, babe?' he interrogates lightly. I pretend that I'm a fool, as always. I pretend that I do not know that his question holds all those hidden meanings behind it.

_What are you doing? Are you fucking someone already since I'm gone? Are you alone? Did you dare to invite anyone in? Are you by any chance disobeying my not-so-embedded threats?_

'Nothing in specific' comes my casual reply 'I am about to start making dinner, though. Want anything in specific?' I offer.

_Keep him pleased, and he will leave you alone,_ my brain chimes in.

'I am not interested in dinner' he says playfully 'I am only interested in dessert' he whispers with that low tone I once thought was sexy.

I know exactly what he means, and just the thought threatens to force my lunch out of my stomach.

Shuddering from head to toe I answer as though my excitement has reached its limits 'Well, that could be arranged' I play along. It is quite pathetic how I've become such an expert in this game we are playing. Whenever I am with him I'm on autopilot. I know exactly what to say, when to say it and how to say it.

He chuckles at the other end 'Now I can't wait to see you' he whispers again.

'You know I'll be waiting for you' I say dropping my voice into the seductive whisper he loves so much, instead of what I really want to say. More like,_ I wish to never lay eyes on you. I wish that you get hit by a truck and die so I can just be free again. _

I bite my lower lip, suppressing an angry growl.

_Soon it'll all be over. _

If only the time before it all blows over does not look so frightening.

He hangs up and I spend the next few minutes shaking my head frankly. That is exactly what I don't want to think about. I have thought about my safety for far too long and the stakes are high either ways, but there is only so much I can take, there's only so long I can stay chained to that dreadful, dark future where I'll die and no one will discover my body until it rots.

Quickly, I make my way back to the ancient desktop, clearing my browsing history and shutting it off, removing all signs of my supposed crime. There is no way Tyler can find out what I have just done, but the unnerving feeling keeps hovering above me, stubbornly present, so ominous and dreadful that I keep looking all over the small house the entire day, as though waiting for his sickeningly disgusting face to appear out of nowhere and tell me that he knows what I've done.

As I make dinner, roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables, I go through my plan over and over again. The plan is not even remotely perfect, in fact it has tons of loop holes that it can go wrong at any given time, but I am taking it easy. Step by step until I can actually find my escape. Or he finds out, and just that possibility makes my stomach turn with fear. I shake off the idea.

My first step is: get some money. If I have no money, I can do nothing. I'll get some money if by any chance any magazine would be remotely interested in hiring me. I applied for a bunch of opened spots, but the chances were highly unlikely, especially with my insistence on working from home, any other way would be completely impossible for me to work.

I make sure that the chicken's skin is nice and red on all sides before turning the oven off. That's how Tyler likes it and if it's not cooked to his liking… well, it's just a very bad idea.

The inevitable hour comes when I have to take a shower, get dressed as though I'm about to have a nice dinner with the love of my life and look presentable for my demanding husband. I am used to this routine. I've been living my life according to the routine he set for me for a year now. Of course, it took me rather some time to grow accustomed to what he wanted, how he wanted it, and when he wanted it, not to mention an awful lot of pain along with every mistake I made. Still, I am incredibly nervous today. I have to keep reminding myself that he cannot possibly find out what I have just done if my attitude does not give it away.

It doesn't make me feel the slightest bit better, though.

I hear the key turning in the lock, and my stomach turns in harmony with it. I rise to my feet instantly, meeting him halfway through the hallway with a very well-trained smile intact to my lips, the same smile I use to hide everything.

'Hey, babe' he says, taking off his jacket.

'Hi, honey!' I cheerfully greet him 'How was your day?'

'It just got better' he grins, approaching me and crashing his lips to mine harshly. I am repelled by his kiss but I pretend that I like it, just like I pretend a lot of things, a lot of things that are much hard to pretend. It was difficult at first, but after knowing what would happen to me if I did not pretend it grew increasingly easier, easier to the point that all I can do is pretend, all I know is how to pretend.

'What did you make us for dinner, babe?' he asks, grabbing my ass and pulling me closer to him.

'Roasted chicken' I answer, smiling widely. Despite myself, I search for signs of his pre-rage attitude. After two years, I know exactly when he is about to through me across the room (this is not figuratively speaking). I am so used to him finding out every single move I make that it is rather surreal for me to grasp the idea that he does not know what I have done during the day. At any moment, I will see his brows furrowing, his hand pushing me away before striking me across my face where his blow will leave a mark that won't disappear until a couple of weeks. But his face does not change. He crushes his lips to mine in a longer kiss, his hands roaming my body impatiently. My default defense mechanism is to roll with it, numbing my senses as he pleasures himself, and reminding myself that it will be over soon… it will be over soon.

He finally releases me. I sigh ruefully, whipping my mouth with my hand as soon as he turns towards the kitchen where the table is already set.

'You should go wash-up first' I lightly tell him; so desperately wanting to give myself a much-needed break from seeing his face, and weirdly he complies for my unspoken wish. He darts off to the bathroom, leaving me crouched, one hand over my stomach, the other clutching the edge of the counter harshly until my knuckles turned white. Relief washes over me. It is only when I actually saw him that the idea hit me. He cannot know about what I just did, and there is no need to worry about it. It is the next step that I should be worried about hiding it.

I inhale deeply. This I will think of some other time.

I hear his footsteps back to the kitchen and, like a programmed robot, re-plaster my smile across my face as I extract the chicken from the oven.

'Smells good' he says, sitting at the table.

The meal goes on as mundane as any other meal. He talks about his day. I nod and smile robotically. It seems like I have been doing everything robotically for quite some time now. I have become somewhat emotionless that it kind of frightens me when I think about it. My acts are either driven by fear or out of habit. Like a survival instinct, even though it is sometimes hard to remember what it is that I want to survive for. He asks about my day I say 'fine, honey. No news. Just cleaned the house, read a little and made dinner. All is great' as if he does not know that already. As if he did not spend the whole day calling me every hour. He finishes off his food and leaves the table. I barely touch mine, because the thought of what is going to happen next makes it impossible for me to eat. I pick-up the dishes and place them in the dishwasher, cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. I hear him turn on the TV in the living room, and I know that this is my signal to follow him.

I sit next to him as he flips through the channels with his arm casually, but firmly, thrown over my shoulders, tucking me very close to him, tucking me too close to him. When he finally decides that TV is not interesting, he rises to his feet and, as usual, I'm expected to follow. As though whether I want to sleep or watch TV or even do anything that is not related to him is not even remotely an option. It does not matter; it's been long since I have stopped to see what I care about or what I want. It does not matter, because doing what he says gets me through the day without having blood coming out of my ears (again, not figuratively speaking).

What happens in our bedroom has nothing to do with anything that I could ever enjoy. He has his fun as I moan and sigh under him, _pretending _that I like it while in fact, all I want to do is vomit. There's this constant fear that at some point I will not be able to bear the idea of him smashing himself into me; that I won't bear the feeling of his hands on my body, or his lips caressing whatever skin he can reach. I am afraid that at some point I will no longer be able to hold it back and just vomit as soon as he starts ripping my clothes off. He does not even bother to stop and see if I am actually in the mood for having sex with him or not, he does not even bother to try and pleasure me, although I doubt he can ever do that. Just the sight of him makes me sick.

_It will be over soon, _is all the comfort I can give myself to suppress a cry of pain as he violently thrusts inside me. That is all I can do until someday I might be able to get myself out of this hell-whole.

The possibility is the only thing that keeps me going.

. . .

The next morning is as gloomy as my thoughts. The sun has refused to shine and clouds crowd in the thundering sky, threatening to pour their fury at any given moment.

I sigh staring out the window, thinking of how long will I keep this ridiculous act? How long will I have to endure all the torment my life turned into? Two years, two whole years I have let myself go through hell and back because of the idiotic mistake of rushing into Tyler's arms. I rushed into his arms and turned down an opportunity that might have been the best thing to ever happen to me. Not a day goes by without me thinking of how my life would have been had I listened to the worried utters of my friends. Not a day goes by without me thinking of how my life would have been had I given _him _a chance. But it doesn't matter anymore.

_Always remember, Caroline, that he was the one who ruined everything__** not **__you._

This is how it goes every morning, I wonder, I regret, then I pick myself up and smile as Tyler comes out of the shower to have breakfast.

When Tyler leaves, I breathe ruefully. I will not have to see him until a few hours. Though it's little relief, it's a relief nonetheless. I enjoy it, because it is the only relief I can get.

The phone rings as I flip through applications for work I can do sitting at home.

'Miss. Forbes?' a sweet voice asks with a hint of smile when I answer the phone

'Yes, this is she' I reply, smiling. It is so rare to hear a voice that is not Tyler's. So rare that I almost forgot how nice it is to talk to someone and have them listen to me.

'We would like you to come for an interview'

I am happy. I am happier than I have been in quite some time that I almost forget the dilemma of leaving home. _Almost._ I take the address and she schedules me for an interview the next day at ten A.M.

_How the hell are you gonna leave, Caroline, without Tyler finding out?_

* * *

_I am a professional. _My brain scoffs at the idea immediately. I am not a professional. Not when it comes to certain blue-eyed blonde. I am the farthest thing from professional. I am a selfish bastard who wants to see her as much as possible. So I will hire her even if her résumé is not suitable; because I am that selfish, because I miss her that much.

The clock ticks slowly, deliberately tormenting me. Only half an hour is left before the appointed interview but it feels like there's half a century before I can see her walking through the door.

I wonder if she has changed. I hope she didn't. Three years passed since I have laid my eyes on her. Three years since I touched her, since I kissed her, since I watched her walk away.

I sigh.

Wanting so desperately to stop the raging storm in my mind, I flip through the files on my desk aimlessly, attempting to do anything but think of Caroline, her smile, her eyes, the way she glows with life and joy, the way she bites her lower lip whenever someone complements her, the way she bats her eyelashes and gets what she wants by doing so, the way my whole world revolved around her even when she did not know, the way she stole my heart that it did not belong to anyone else since my eyes locked with hers that night, the way I will never regret anything as much as I regret letting her go.

I bang the desk with my clenched fist.

_I am supposed to stop thinking about her, Goddammit! _

The phone rings.

'Sir, Mrs. Forbes is here!' Amy cheerfully informs me.

I glance at the clock which indicates that Caroline was as precise with her appointments as I remember her to be, and try not to wince when she calls her "Mrs. Forbes".

'Bring her in' I say, hardly containing my enthusiasm.

'Right away, sir' Amy says.

I turn around in my chair that its back is what greets her first. I want to surprise her in my own absurd way; other than the fact that I used to do that every time she walked in to see me before.

My heart clenches in my chest. How ridiculously foolish of me to think that I can possibly keep the flood of memories away when I insisted on seeing her, and preplanned to hire her.

I hear the door opening and the sound of heels clanking against the marble floor. My heart is racing, of excitement or sheer nervousness I do not know. The fact that her reaction could differ to a thousand one did not hit until this moment, and I can feel my stomach in knots, something that I never admitted happened to me every time she was around.

'Umm excuse me?' her voice calls after me politely.

I close my eyes, exhaling. I missed her sweet voice far more than I lead on. Without further torture I turn around flashing a grin that I am sure disappears as soon as my eyes lay on her.

_Where's Caroline for heaven's sake? _Is the only thought that my mind can form.

I try to keep a straight face, and a smile breaks its way into my face. I know my smile is well concealing, but I also know that my eyes always betray me, reflecting what I feel when it comes to her.

I try to keep a straight face as my chest tightens. The longer I look at her, the greater my pain grows. She is so thin, sickly thin, that her face is pale and her cheek bones are sharply standing out. She is so thin that her grey jacket and the white shirt she wore underneath barely hung to her body; that despite their incredibly small size they are too wide for her unbelievably thin body. My mind immediately flashes to how she looked the first night I saw her, the sexy red dress she wore that showed her luscious figure, the way she snapped her fingers at me when I took my time contemplating her curves… I blink the memories away.

I wish she only looks thin. My eyes wander over her stunned features and I can feel the corners of my mouth slowly dropping despite my attempts to keep the smile. However, it is incredibly difficult to smile when horror takes over my mind at the sight of the extinguished fire in her baby-blue eyes. The spark is gone, as though the fire was turned off by water. The joyfulness, the boldness, the dreaminess in her eyes is all gone. Only cold, almost frightened eyes look back at me. There are dark circles around her eyes. I can tell that she tried to hide them with make-up but I can easily see them. Caroline, the bubbly, lively, beautiful, strong woman has dark circles around her eyes. The only thing that had not changed about her is the golden locks.

I stop trying to smile. I know that she does not believe it, and I cannot keep my emotions contained any longer.

Her expression, however, turns from pure and utter shock into a happy, almost grateful, one.

'Nik!' she exclaims with a smile that looks genuine, but does not alight the spark in her eyes like her smile used to do.

'It's been a long time, Caroline' I say quietly with a smile of my own.

'Far too long!' she says, and strides towards the desk as I come around it to meet her halfway.

I am hesitant as to whether I should hug her or not, but she saves me the effort and throws her arms around my neck in what seems-to-be nothing but a friendly hug. I hardly contain myself from sighing contently when her sweet scent invades my senses. She still smells of Honey and roses. Holding her in my arms, I shut my eyes to savor the moment, and my grip tightens around her involuntarily. For a second, I feel like nothing has changed, I feel like the past three years have never occurred, like I have never let her go. The feeling of holding her again, of her blonde curls brushing my cheek softly, is so heavenly that I cannot bring myself to break apart from her. I wish I could just hold her like that until nothing else exists and all fades, until the very last second of my life. I ask for nothing but to keep her in my arms… Nothing.

However, she breaks the hug and a shooting pain is all I feel as she steps a little backwards.

'How have you been, love?' I smirk, doing my best to hide how tormenting it is to have her so close to me without holding her.

_I'm a greedy bastard! _

'You still call me that even after all this time passed?' she rolls her eyes.

She is trying, I can tell, to convince me that she has not changed, that everything was still the same, and for the life of me I do not know why she thinks it's important for her to act. Caroline was never much of an actress. Like an opened book she was. Honest, to the point of brutality occasionally; something that I always appreciated about her. I do not know why she is trying to say "I am still the same" when clearly it is not the case. Is she trying to fool me, or herself?

'Of course, love, time does not change habits' I wink at her 'Sometimes not even feelings' I whisper, stepping closer until only inches separate us.

I know that she is married; I know that we have not spoken a single word in what seems to be an eternity, I know a million reasons why I should not have said that, but I do not know why I said that. I can hardly contain myself. All I want to do is grab her and kiss her so hard, kiss her until I forget that anything ever happened, until we both forget that we were separated for three years. In a moment, as my eyes lock with hers like that first night I saw her, I see the same desire reflected in her eyes, and despite myself I look down at her pink lips. They are so inviting, so alluring. I remember how soft they felt against mine once and a tingling sensation on my lips is aroused. I want to lean in and kiss her. I do not care that she is married. I do not care that she is supposed to be applying for a job. I do not care that I have not seen her in so long. I do not care that I was the one to ruin everything in the first place. I just want to kiss her. And I can see the doubt in her eyes. I can almost guarantee that she wants me to lean in and crash my lips on hers.

When I finally build up the courage to close the remaining gap between our lips, she drops her gaze to the ground, licking her upper lip without saying a word.

'Please,' I clear my throat, stepping back 'take a seat' I motion to the leather chair in front of my desk.

She silently complies.

As the interview moves on with the casual questions, my frustration reaches its limits. No matter how tormenting I thought our encounter would be, I never thought that it would reach the point of the heart-wrenching ache with each word she utters and each smile she volunteers. It is even more anguishing to see how much she has changed, like someone or something has sucked the life out of her. Even her laughter does not ring through the entire room, nor give that contagious feel. When Caroline used to laugh, there was no choice but to share her laughter.

It's all gone.

A part of me is curious about what happened to her, curious to the point of agonizingly pondering options and possibilities of what happened to her. Another does not want to ask questions, the part that urges me to rise to my feet, go round my desk and hold her in my arms, to try my best to remove the effect of whatever happened to her, to just embrace her until everything else fades and until her blue eyes light up again. I would ask no questions, I would demand no explanations; I would simply be there for her, whether she wants to sob, or just rest her head on my shoulder.

But I do neither.

With all my might I try to be professional. Even though I know I have already hired her, I try to see where the path of her career headed, and I am shocked to realize that she had not worked in nearly two years, that she left her job before she could finish training. I say I do not care for past experience, and she seems relieved. But things get complicated when she declares that she can only work from home. I want to ask her why, and my eyes reflect that. Even more, I'm stunned by her wish to have an alias instead of her own name on the column, especially when the column is simply cooking recipes; something I never imagined Caroline would be doing.

'For personal reasons' she vaguely, but firmly, says. I know better than to ask further questions.

I agree. She promises to e-mail us the article of her column every week, and I promise to send her a not-so-decent paycheck at the start of each month. We sign the contract and I congratulate her for joining the company.

For the smallest fraction of a moment, after we sign the contract, I see her eyes light up like the way they used to, I see a smile that reaches her eyes, but it's not long enough for me to believe that nothing has changed.

'Rebekah will be delighted to hear from you. She is back from England' I casually tell her as she begins to leave.

She stops dead in her tracks and looks at me so softly. For a moment I think that her eyes form tears, but she quickly smiles.

'When did she get back?' She asks enthusiastically

'A couple of months ago' I say simply 'I can give you her number if you like'

Caroline nods frantically, her smile widening. My own smile widens as I give her the number, for I am glad that I made her smile so joyfully.

She leaves the office as quickly as she arrived. It is only then that I realize how my sole purpose for hiring her was so that I could see her every day, and that by our contract that wish will stay unfulfilled.

Another realization hits me as I stare at the contract, my eyebrows slowly pulling together in a frown.

Why is she still using her maiden name?

* * *

**What do you guys think? Good or not? Please tell me your thoughts :D **


	2. Reminisce

**Hellooooo everyone :D Thank you so much for the support I got on the first chapter! I'm so glad you guys are enthused about this, and I hope I will not disappoint you :D **

**Again, special thanks to the best beta in the world my sister who listens to my nonsense patiently and puts up with all the rant even though she does not ship Klaroline nor care about it to begin with! LOVE you sis :D**

**And there is a brutal scene in this chapter, you'll know what to skip when it comes if you are not into it. **

**ENJOY!I had a blast writing this chapter :D **

* * *

**Chapter two: Reminisce**

* * *

My heart is pounding so loudly that I can hear the thuds of its beats drumming in my ears. I do not know if the reason behind my extreme nervousness is the unexpected, nonetheless more than delightful, reappearance of a certain Niklaus Mikealson in my life or by the sheer fact that I might be more than a little bit likely to have a serious beat-up from my unlikable husband.

Hastily, I make my way through the door. The phone is ringing off the silence of the house. I have missed the call on the head of the hour now and there is no going back. He will call me every fifteen minutes today for the simple fact that I have been inconsistent with answering his possessive and more than a little unnerving calls.

'Hello' I answer cheerfully.

'Where the hell have you been?' comes his angry growl.

I'm definitely in on some pain today, but I still sincerely believe that it is worth it. This job might actually be my only shot at getting the hell out of this mess of a life I have.

'I was at the grocery store' I lie causally, as though I do not know how completely forbidden it is for me to leave the house 'I needed a few things for dinner'

'Grocery store?' he scoffs 'I thought we made it perfectly clear that you tell me what you need and not act on your own accord'

'Yeah, well, I did not know that I needed stuff until you left' I mutter, my sentence more than a little showing my nerves. Even though he has more than several hours before he can do any actual harm, my whole body tingles with pain already. I remember how painful it feels when he pulls my hair, or twists my arms or kick me in the stomach and what would happen after the beating would be even more painful than it usually is.

_Gosh, I hope this job is worth it._

'Make sure it never happens again' he snaps.

'Sure, sweetie, sorry' I apologize even though I normally shouldn't need to do that.

He does not reply, but immediately hangs-up. This is his normal attitude when he is in for doing some serious damage.

Considering how pitifully I am used to the pain and humiliation that is yet to come, I nearly forget it as soon as I put the receiver down. It is not at all difficult to preoccupy myself with other thoughts as someone else's image is all that I can think of. Despite all effort to erase his smile from my mind, all effort to stop inhaling his scent, he is all I can think of. I can't stop thinking of how great it was to see him again, or how warm it felt to have his arms wrapped around me like many months before, too many months before. For a second there, when I stood before him, gazing into his ocean-deep blue eyes, I felt like nothing ever happened between us. I felt like I am back three years before, like I was that college student in that mini-red-dress again in that loud bar, that one shiny night when it all started. I felt myself like I have not felt in so long. And talking to him, I almost forgot Tyler, almost forgot the fear and the stress and the worries, almost forgot the pain of each night and day of having to be Tyler's wife and Nik's not-so-much-of-an-ex and not the other way around. Although, little do I know of how Nik actually is in a relationship. His charming self could be just as much of a vacant mask as Tyler's when I fell in love with him.

I try to convince myself that I do not really know Nik, but I still miss him. Because he smells of home, because he reminds me of all the good days even though they held an awful lot of pain with them, because I can feel my heart singing with joy at the mere sight of his face.

I sigh. I should not be distracted by him, but the feeling that seeing him gave me has other plans. The memories that are acutely aroused in my head have other plans, too.

**. . . **

_'So you'd think that my brother would be right on time, because he makes it sound like he's the most accurate person on the planet, but in fact he always makes the other person wait, albeit if it's a lady' Rebekah pouts, downing her second Tequila shot. _

_I laugh 'You have to give the guy a chance his plane landed only four hours ago' _

_'Dear God, Nik!' Rebekah exclaims far too loudly, but everyone is too drunk to notice her 'she hasn't even met you yet and she's already defending you!' _

_I laugh again, downing anothe Tequila shot myself. _

_'Gosh I always knew that he has his own ridiculously strong demand over women, but I did not know it was that powerful' she giggles. _

_'I'm already too drunk to meet that brother of yours' I slur, giggling, too. _

_'Me too!' she beams 'what you say we ditch him and walk back home?' _

_'Nah' I shrug off 'I'm having too much fun getting drunk' _

_'We can resume getting drunk at home' she suggests with a wide smile. _

_'Yes, but it'll be fun to vomit on your brother's pants than in an actual bathroom' I enthusiastically tease_

_'Touché!' she squeals 'I knew I was friends with you for a reason' _

_'Gosh, I'm so drunk' I say between hysterical giggles 'Not to the point of forgetting everything about this night, though' _

_'Then let's get to that point!' Rebekah cheers. _

_We reach for more Tequila but realize we have none left and burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. _

_'I'll go get some' I say, rising to my feet. I'm slightly unbalanced, but I can walk without falling. _

Not without tripping, though, _I think as I stumble with my own foot. _

_'Watch it' I hear Rebekah say between laughs 'You look funny drunk-walking' _

_'You look funnier, 'cause you're drunker' I shout back at her, unable to stop my laughter, either. _

_'We need more Tequila' I tell the bartender, rudely cutting off some other guy's order_

Oh the beauty of being drunk!

_'Right away, Miss' the bartender flashes me a cheesy grin and I roll my eyes. _

_'Bring it to that table' I point at the table where Rebekah was still giggling about something. _

_'Sure thing' he confirms. _

_I squeeze my way out of the crowds at the bar and expectedly trip forward, but strong pair of arms prevents me from falling. _

_'Be careful, love' the voice of whoever steadied my footing says. _

_'Always I'm' I say with a high pitch, lifting my eyes to meet his. _

Oh wow! _Was all I can think of. I'm drunk, he's hot, bad combination. And I think I might ditch Rebekah and her brother guiltlessly. _

_'Doesn't quite look like it, sweetheart' he smirks, seeming to have no intention in loosening his grip on my arms. _

_'Whatever' I mutter, shaking his hands off because even though he's hot, I have to be the one in control of the situation. _

_I am drunk, but not drunk enough to miss the way he was looking me over. His eyes wandered to all the wrong places, lingering a little too much on my chest and lips. _

_'Eyes up here, pal' I scoff snapping my fingers at him. _

_He does not seem the least bit embarrassed, instead insolently smirking at me and wiggling his eyebrows._

Gosh he has the cutest dimples! _I think _I'm so drunk! _I also think_

_'You make it hard to keep my attention to your eyes, miss' he has the audacity to say. _

_I'm about to seriously snap at him, even though I quite like his comment because I'm so drunk, but something interrupts me. _

_'NIK' Rebekah shouts from her seat 'Stop eye-sexing with Caroline and get your ass in here' _

_The man looks towards the source of this inhumane screech, then back at me. _

_'Oh great' I scoff 'You're Nik, then' I raise an eyebrow at him with a wide grin. _

_'I'm guessing you're Caroline' he says, reaching his hand for a decent handshake. I take his hand, unable to stop myself from giggling for some absurd reason, and he tries his best to turn his seductive smirk into a polite smile. _

_'Come on you guys' Rebekah calls after us again 'I'm getting bored here!'_

_We silently head back to the table where Rebekah seems drunker even though the Tequila was yet to come. I trip repeatedly and from the corner of my eyes I see Nik smirking to himself. I roll my eyes. _

_'You look drunker than before' I comment, sitting down _

_'A gentleman sent me a drink' she grins and points to a brown-haired man at the bar who flashes a grin and winks. _

_'Oh dear' Nik huffs 'I should have known you would be drunk by now' he rolls his eyes, sitting next to his sister._

_'You have no one other than yourself to blame, brother' she slurs 'You are the one who was incredibly late' _

_'Yeah' I comment 'like an hour' I shrug _

_'I got held back by Elijah' he explains quietly obviously unhappy by having two drunken girls as his company._

_'I like Elijah' I protest 'He's always on time' _

_'Yes' Rebekah nods firmly._

_'And he always says nice things about our looks' I think I say that or something else that goes along the lines._

_'Yes' Rebekah says again, nodding. _

_'Well, Caroline, I had no idea you would be that beautiful or that sexy' Nik smirks, resting his elbows on the table, and looking me over again._

_'Things that don't make me want to slap him across the face' I mock_

_Rebekah laughs 'I told you not to try your cheesy lines with her! She is too tough for you, brother' she turns to me talking at the top of her lungs as though her brother does not exist 'And I told you this dress would give the wrong impression' she slurred. _

_'Whatever' I shrug 'I like it' then turning to an amused Nik I explain myself 'I didn't wear this dress for you. I know you're involved with that Tatia slut' _

_'Slut?' he raises an eyebrow at his sister. _

_'Ooops' she mouths between giggles._

_'Sorry, Bex, my bad' I apologize quickly _

_'Don't be. He knows that I don't like her' Rebekah shakes her head. _

_Nik sighs 'I think I'm no longer involved with her, though' _

_'What?' Rebekah's mouth hangs open, and for a second she actually seems sober 'You broke-up?' she does no effort to hide her happiness. _

_'I think we did' he vaguely says. _

_'What do you mean you think?' Rebekah grumbles. _

_'Forget it, Bex,' I comment 'We are too drunk for this conversation' _

_'Yeah, tell me everything when I'm sober' she agrees. He says something to his sister and she snaps back at him, but I'm too drunk to focus and I could not bring myself to care anymore. _

_Our Tequila arrives as Rebekah and I cheer enthusiastically. _

_'I don't think that this would be necessary' he tells the waiter who is about to place the drinks on our table, giving him a meaningful glance. _

_'No!' Rebekah protests fiercely when the waiter leaves 'Why did you do that?' she snaps at her brother. _

_'You've had enough for tonight, sister' he firmly says. _

_'You're a fun killer' I mutter. _

Gosh, I'm saying a lot of stupid things! I'm so drunk! _I think, giggling again _

_'What? Are you my father?' Rebekah frowns at him. _

_'No, but your father doesn't care. Someone should' he sighs deeply. _

_'He's deep' I comment sarcastically. _

_'Yeah, it's time to go home now, girls' he commands, rising to his feet. _

_I say something that makes Rebekah laugh and makes him roll his eyes, but I'm not sure what it is. However, what I say puts both Rebekah and I in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. _

_Nik silently drives us back home._

**. . . **

I shrug off my thoughts, no longer enduring the pain those memories arouse. Sometimes it's beyond my understanding how vividly I remember that particular night even though I was inappropriately drunk. But there was something that night in his blue eyes and playful smirks that drew me in, even though I was not willing to acknowledge it at first. There was something about him that made me feel that his presence in my life would be dominant. I could not quite comprehend it and it still is slightly confusing for me when I think about it.

There is one thing, though, that I know for a fact; Nik always chooses the wrong time to appear in my life… Always.

* * *

I quickly dial Rebekah's number. I have to talk to someone about the latest events and no one is better than Rebekah when it comes to Caroline, even though we have been avoiding talking about Caroline for the past three years.

'This has to be good' Rebekah answers quickly 'Because I'm in the middle of watching Grey's Anatomy'

'This show again' I sulk rolling my eyes

'Just because you're an inhumane creature who's incapable of human emotions who happens to be my brother that doesn't mean that I am, too' she huffs.

'I don't understand why you're so defensive when it comes to this show' I tease.

'Nik, I swear if you don't say what you want right now, I'll hang up on you' she threatens.

'Fine, fine' I give up 'You won't believe who came in for an interview today'

'Who?' she inquires almost-carelessly

'Try to guess' I know that she is mighty annoyed now and wishes to just reach through the phone and slap me across the face.

'Well, if I won't believe it with you saying who, how can you expect me to guess?' she impatiently says.

'Just try' I insist

'Nik' she warns. Her tone indicates that she will hang up on me just then.

'Alright' I sigh 'Caroline came in for an interview today'

There is a long silence on the other end, far too long of a silence.

'Rebekah, are you still there?' I ask. I expected this sort of reaction. The memory of Caroline is something very special to my sister and I am terribly sorry that I was the one who caused their friendship to come to an unlikable route.

'Caroline Forbes?' she finally mutters.

'Yes. Who else would it be?' I try to say lightly

'You saw Caroline today?' she almost disbelievingly inquires I can hear the shakiness of her voice on the other end, and I can almost guarantee that her eyes are forming tears.

'Yes' I simply say.

I hear her sigh either contently or sadly 'How is she?' is all she can ask.

'She…' I clear my throat. How do I tell her that her friend looks like a complete mess since the last time she saw her? What do I tell her that would not make her mind go as wild as mine has gone calculating what it is that have happened to her? 'She looks fine' I mutter lastly.

'You're lying' she immediately accuses.

'She's married' I deflect

'She is?' I don't know if Rebekah's squeal is of excitement or of horror 'who's he husband?'

'I don't know' I loudly swallow 'she is still going with her maiden name'

'That's weird' she murmurs

'I know' my eyes wander to the contract that still lay on my desk. Thinking about her has been tormenting me the whole day. I can still smell her sweet scent. I can still feel her in my arms. I sigh. 'Truth be told, she did not look OK at all' I give in. It is not only because Rebekah deserves the truth, but also the fact that I can no longer keep anything to myself. I feel like my head is about to explode from all those questions and that my heart is about to burst from all those emotions.

'Why would you say that?' Rebekah's voice comes concerned

'For a lot of reasons,' I vaguely explain 'she is too thin and there's something about the way she behaved that is very unlike her. She did not have that spark in her eyes and her laughter was too quite. Something has happened and I do not know what it can possibly be' I utter my worries without hesitation.

'Well, that does not sound good for either of you' Rebekah says absently

'What do you mean?' I frown

'I mean, Nik, that by the way you are describing her she does not sound good. And also by the way you are describing her you sound like after all those years you are still not over her which isn't good for you' she calmly explains

I lick my upper lip 'I don't want to talk about that'

'Neither do I' she coldly says.

I sigh profoundly. Rebekah still hates me for what have happened three years ago and I think she will always hate me for it.

'It gets weirder' I try to change the subject 'she wants to write for the cooking column'

'No way' Rebekah exclaims in disbelief 'Caroline hates cooking'

'Correction: hated' I quickly note 'She doesn't want us to put her real name. And she will be working from home, too'

'Whoa, hold on a second. Are you sure we are talking about the same Caroline?' Rebekah sounds just as confused as I am.

'It almost felt like she was somebody else, except that her scent is still the same' I absently mutter

'Snap out of it buddy' Rebekah scoffs 'You sound like a high-schooler'

'Sorry' I murmur, chuckling

'Did you ask her what is wrong?' Rebekah asks after a short moment of silence

'Of course I did no such a thing' I immediately dismiss 'Given the circumstances, she wouldn't have liked my interference'

'I see' Rebekah says 'Do you happen to know her phone number?'

'Yeah' I quickly answer. I know that ever since coming back from England the only thing that she truly wanted to do is get back in-touch with Caroline.

I give it to her quickly, and she unhappily comments that it isn't a cellphone number.

'You should talk to her, Bekah' I finally say 'I think she misses you, too' I admit, remembering the way her eyes formed tears at the mention of my sister's name.

'I will' she confirms and hangs-up.

I am left alone to the emptiness and quietness of the office. The heavy feeling in my chest hovers over me as I walk out of the office and into the dark night sky. I can't shake off my feelings, seeing her brought no relief at all, only reminded me of how much I miss her, of how much she still dominates my heart.

I hop into the car and turn the key in the engine, a special memory taking over my mind. I remember that night. If all nights could be forgotten, this one will remain untouched; no matter how long I shall live.

**. . . **_  
_

_'The problem is, men objectify women and think of them as their own sex tools' Caroline says as-a-matter-of-factly. We are sitting in a quiet corner of a random pub. This one is not as loud as the one I saw her getting drunk with my sister in the night before _

_'Do we?' I playfully ask shaking my head at the blonde lightly _

_'Yes' she confirms 'Want me to give you an example?'_

_'Yes, please do' I challenge her, my eyes quickly scanning the place to see Rebekah talking to some random man by the bar. I inwardly roll my eyes. _

_'Pornography' she says simply 'You make us go through the pain of doing such a thing on camera and it actually turns you on' she accuses _

_'I don't make anyone do anything, love' I chuckle 'Women come to me' _

_'Don't you watch porn?' she asks, raising an eyebrow at me._

_'I'm not answering that question' I quickly shrug off, sipping from my scotch. _

_'That's a yes' she smirks. _

_'But don't you think that you are being a little unfair?' I change the subject. _

Who is this woman? _I think, stunned with her confidence. _

_'How's that?' she asks, leaning forward on the table so that her low-cut top reveals even more of her breasts and my eyes involuntarily wander._

_'Some of us actually like women with brains' I almost scoff. _

_'But women with brains aren't what you are looking for' she retorts 'Your initial thought of a woman is merely physical' _

_'Not necessarily' I insist. _

_'Really?' she raises an eyebrow 'Like right now you're not thinking of how big my boobs are nor last night taking me back to your place wasn't your first thought when you saw me?' _

_I chuckle nervously, dropping my gaze to the table in almost-embarrassment 'You caught me' I admit and she smirks 'But in my defense you can't be that beautiful and dress like that and just expect me to think of your brains' I innocently say. _

_'Oh God, Nik' I hear Rebekah say from behind me 'I thought I told you that Caroline was off limit' she scolds, dropping to the chair next to her friend. _

_'We were just talking about how men think of women' Caroline explains. _

_'Yes' I confirm 'Now I get why you have been chatting my ears away with all those feminist thoughts' _

_Rebekah shakes her head 'You make it sound like I've never cared about that before' _

_'Well, no you didn't. Not until Caroline made that horrible influence on you' I explain and Caroline laughs lightly._

_'Whatever,' Rebekah shrugs 'as I said Caroline is off limits please don't try to flirt with her again, will you?' she teases _

_'I don't think you'll have to worry about that' Caroline assures her, then grins at me adding 'I frighten him' _

_'You intrigue me' I quickly correct with a grin of my own. _

_'That's just a synonym to "frighten"' she insists _

_'Believe whatever works for you, love' I smirk at her, my eyes locking with her flirtatious look intensely that I can feel the heat of our unspoken words and hear fireworks in the background. For a long moment we stare at each other like nothing else exists in the world, completely ignoring my poor little sister. Alas she breaks eyes contact and giggles. Her laugh is so adorable that it doesn't take me long before I start laughing, too._

_'What have I said about flirting?' Rebekah glares at me. _

_'Don't look at me, she's just as guilty as I am' I protest between chuckles _

_'I thought you weren't interested in my brother, Care' Rebekah immediately shifts her attention to her still-laughing friend. _

_'That was before I knew he broke-up…'_

_'Or _thinks_ he broke-up' Rebekah adds sarcastically _

_'with slutty Tatia' Caroline simply finishes 'And he's hot' _

_I smirk 'I thought we were the only ones who objectify women' _

_'Well, I'm not exactly interested in your brain' she seductively says, flashing a not-so-innocent smile._

_The way she says that enthrall me and for a second, I think that I will lean in and kiss her. I refrain, though, considering the fact that my sister is still sitting with us. _

_'Oh God' Rebekah huffs 'Get a room' _

_Caroline and I both laugh. From that moment, I knew that Caroline will be so much more than my sister's best friend._

* * *

I am nervously pacing the length of the room back and forth. Tyler will be there any minute now. Despite myself I start wondering what he has as tonight's punishment and I shudder repeatedly.

The phone unexpectedly rings. I eye it suspiciously. Could this be some sort of an angelic salvation? Could it actually be that, for once, I will be spared from Tyler's wrath by his job?

'Hello' I answer far more shakily than intended.

'Hello' comes a very familiar, very old voice. I gasp, immediately recognizing the caller. Hearing her voice feels far more splendid than I thought it would feel that I find myself at loss of what I should say 'Caroline? Is that you?' she asks again and I can feel the tremble in her voice. I'm about to say yes it's me, Bex, your best friend who missed you so much, but just then I hear the key turning in the lock and immediately hang up, cursing Tyler inwardly for interrupting a-long-awaited phone call.

I put a mental note to call her fist thing in the morning when I remember that Nik have already given me her number.

'I'm home' Tyler says from the hallway.

'Hey honey' I stride towards him with my usual smile

'Hey' he says drily taking off his jack.

_Gosh, I know that attitude. _

'How was your day?' I ask cheerfully, as though blissfully unaware of what would come.

'Bad' he briefly says.

'Oh' is all I mouth. If I ask him why, his anger would maximize a billion times, if I say nothing his frustration with my silence would earn me an earl beat-up 'That's too bad' is what I settle for.

He walks past me into the kitchen and I follow him.

'You should go wa…' but my sentence is cut short for he turns around and strikes me across the face with the back of his hand. The power of his blow forces me to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. My cheek stings and I taste blood in my mouth.

_This will leave a mark, _I think. But it doesn't, it never does, not when his blows are on my face, anyways.

He crouches next to me, grabbing my hair and yanking me up so that I was in a semi-seating-position.

'What did I say about leaving the house without telling me?' his intolerably disgusting face is inches away from mine as he spits through gritted teeth.

'I'm sorry' I mutter as my tears stream down my cheeks. They make my wounded cheek sting even more 'I wanted to make you a cake as a surprise' I lie between sobs.

'Stop crying!' he thunders, yanking at my hair even harder 'You know I hate it' he hisses.

'I'm sorry, but you're hurting me' I miserably try to swallow the rising lumps in my throat but repeatedly fail. Just because I'm used to the pain, it doesn't mean that it hurts any less.

That earns me a throwback to the ground and a kick in the stomach. A shooting pain in the lower part of my ribcage steals my breath.

'Please stop' I beg shamelessly 'I'll never leave the house, I promise'

He kicks again in the exact same spot and I have to bite down on my injured lip to suppress a yelp.

'That's just so you would know better next time' he snaps then strides off to the bathroom slamming the door behind him 'Get that fucking table ready, already. I'm starving you stupid bitch' I hear him shout from behind the bathroom door.

I grab my side and struggle to rise to my feet. I keep gasping with pain while I snatch the grilled salmon and steamed vegetables. It takes all my power to stay conscious. Even more, it takes colossal strength to stay away from thinking that I might have a broken rib or two.

**. . . **

His blow on my face does leave a mark. My lips are swollen from one side in extension to the slight swell in my right cheek. There's a purplish-blue bruise right where he kicked me the night before, and I feel sharp pain whenever I inhale. His activities after our dinner increase the damage to my injuries and add a couple more pain spots. They hurt even more than my maybe-or-may-not-be-broken ribs and enflamed lips.

When he finally leaves the house, I collapse to a couch and curl in a ball, breaking into an uncontrollable fit of sobs. It isn't just the physical pain, which is more than a little excruciating, but the mental damage that he manages to further every day. All hopes of romance and love were shattered by him. All hopes of ever having a life that is halfway through decent were destroyed by his ugly face.

The phone rings, interrupting my gloomy thoughts.

I strive to get to my feet, and by the time I make it to the phone, I'm pretty sure that whoever is calling has reached the ultimate level of impatience.

'Hello' I hoarsely greet.

'Hello' her voice comes confused 'I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if Caroline Forbes is available? I've called last night and whoever answered immediately hung-up on me. I thought that I have dialed the wrong number, but it keeps referring me to your house' she hurriedly explains herself.

'Hey, Bex' I greet her through my tears and wide smile 'it's been a long time'

Maybe there's still a tiny beam of hope left, after all.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please share your thoughts :D **

**The mention of Grey's Anatomy is an honory mention for my beta AKA sister! Unhealthy obsession :D **

**Until next time! **


	3. Old Friends

**Hi guys! OMG! Thank you so much for all the support on the last chapter, really made my day :) **

**I'm so sorry for the long time it took me to update, but I've been really busy and I know you guys will understand :))I hope you like that one, some really important pieces of the puzzle here. And to prevent any confusion, this chapter is from Rebekah and Caroline's POV. I really wanted you guys to take a look into Rebekah's head since she'll be a big part of the story and I thought it would be nice to see into her head. We will probably have another look into her head sometime in later chapters. Remember, horizontal line means I'm switching POVs.**

**And, guys, it's rated M for a reason. **

**Off with my rambles, Enjoy :D**

* * *

**Chapter three: Old Friends**

* * *

'Caroline' I breathe, unable to mouth any other syllable. Her voice is so broken and shaky that I do not know what to make of it. I almost don't believe that it is her except that I recognize the tone. She always sounded like that while crying and always drove me crazy before telling me what could possibly have happened to break her heart so much.

'Yes, Bex, it's me' she says again. I hear crackles from the other end followed by hysterical sobs.

'Caroline what's wrong?' I inquire, anxious at once at the unlikable first encounter.

'He did this to me, Bekah' she says through violent sobs, clearly having a frenzied state.

_Who's he? He did what? _

Whatever it is, it does not sound the least bit delightful.

'Who did what, Caroline?' I ask urgently. Unable to stay seated, I shoot up to my feet, doing my best to unclench my jaw as I talk.

'He hurt me' is all I can comprehend from her broken sentences.

My mind starts to run wild as I start to put pieces together. I can almost guarantee that what I'm thinking is right. But gosh how much I hope I'm wrong; more than anything I want to be wrong.

'Care, please calm down and tell me what's happening' I muster my best calm voice that I am certain does not contribute the least bit in hiding my apprehension.

'I have to go' she says, her tone slightly fearful 'He'll hurt me more. I have to go' I hear the pain in her words and start pacing the length of my living room rapidly, trying hard to hold onto a state of composure that I lacked nothing more in normal situation, let alone when the fright of my friend haunts me as an obnoxious picture starts to paint itself before me.

'Caroline,' I almost huff through gritted teeth 'give me your address, I'm coming right now'

'No!' she shrieks, her voice dribbling with dread.

_Gosh! Caroline is supposed to be so fearless. I envied her courage more often than I would have liked. _

'He doesn't allow me to let anyone in' she hysterically objects.

'He doesn't need to know that I was there, Caroline' I reason with her, my voice far more enraged than I intended.

'But..' she starts to say

'Goddammit, Caroline, just give me the fucking address!' I exclaim, cutting her off.

**_. . ._**

_'She doesn't have the right to be jealous! She was the one who left him!' I object fiercely, defending him as though what I thought truly matters._

_'Of course she has the right to be jealous!' Caroline argues, standing to her feet as well and dumping the calm discussion that took place a second ago to turn into this argument 'He went off sleeping with the nurse as soon as he had the chance! They are soul-mates! How could he do this to her?!' _

_I laugh sarcastically 'Yes! They are soul-mates so how could _she_ do this to him? huh? She was the one who left him last season with her mommy-was –a-bitch-and-daddy-left-me-issues!' as I throw my last argument, Nik and his friend, Stefan, walk through the door with worried expressions plastered across their faces. We both ignore them 'He had this look of heartbreak on his face! And he did not go and sleep with Rose immediately! He only did it when he knew that Meredith was hopeless' I shake my head frantically, appalled by the acts of the fictional character. _

_'Umm' Stefan begins uncertainly 'Is everything OK?' he asks. _

_'He knew she had issues all along!' Caroline starts again, completely ignoring Stefan as I give him a side glare. Nik makes a face and stays silent as they stand by the door completely dumbfound 'He should have been there for her, not go all "I can't do this" and this bullshit, practically telling her to break-up with him!' Caroline scowls furiously. _

_I huff exasperatedly. _

_'Seriously, what's going on?' Stefan tries again. This time it's Caroline who shoots him with an angry glare. He sighs in harmony with my brother. _

_'You are just biased to women' I tell her frankly 'You are so biased to them that you can't even see matters except from their point-of-views!' _

_'Oh yeah?' Caroline scoffs 'Let's see about that' _

_She turns to Nik who is leaning against the door frame. He raises an eyebrow at her as Stefan furrows his brows sarcastically, waiting to see where this argument is going. _

_'Hey, Nik' she starts quickly 'Say you and I started dating a few weeks after you broke-up with Tatia, who happens to be your soul-mate, and she finds out about us, does she or doesn't she have the right to be jealous' _

_'Err' he squints 'Is that a trick question?' he slowly asks, his eyes darting towards me hurriedly, as though begging for help. _

_'It's not' I roll my eyes 'Just answer' _

_'Well?' she urges him as a thoughtful frown caresses his features. _

_'Really, Nik, it doesn't take much brain!' I impatiently say, throwing my arms in the air. _

_'I guess she doesn't.' he answers slowly 'Unless I was the one who broke-up with her and she did not get over me' he adds certainly. _

_'No!' I tell him 'She was the one to break-up with you!' I urge him to confirm my theory, a smile starting to form on my face already. _

_'If that's the case, she definitely doesn't have the right to be jealous' Nik nods firmly. _

_'Aha!' I clap my hands, doing a little victory dance. _

_'What's with this whole thing?' Stefan asks, leaning against the door frame 'Is Caroline checking if this douche is available indirectly?' he mocks, pointing to Nik, who shoots him a dreadful glance, and raising his eyebrows amusedly. _

_'Yeah' Caroline snorts 'I'm checking to see if he's available by throwing a hypothetical theory that include Slutty Tatia as his soul-mate' _

_Nik chuckles 'In any case, love, I am available' _

_'Dear God!' I exclaim 'How many times do I have to tell you: STOP FLIRTING WITH CAROLINE' my brother is too high maintenance for Caroline; something I have been trying to tell them both indirectly. Not that Caroline is any less guilty with the flirting game they have been playing. _

_I add a mental note to talk to Caroline about it._

_Caroline giggles 'Just leave him be, Bex. It's very flattering' she winks at him. _

_Stefan gawks as we share a look, wrinkling our noses in disgust at the two of them. They seem too busy to notice anything but each other's eyes. Both pairs are twinkling with mischief. _

_'Gosh!' Stefan throws his hands in the air dramatically 'Would you sleep with her already!' _

_'Stefan!' I scold him while Nik and Caroline burst into laughter. _

_'Just saying' Stefan shrugs indifferently 'His eyes are all over her whenever he sees her, might as well have his hands all over her' he winks. And although the subject is quite irrelevant to me, he looks me over and I feel myself blushing despite myself. _

_This time, it's Nik who elbows him in the stomach, shooting him a warning glare that indicates how inappropriate that was. _

_'Wow!' Stefan pushes it 'Looks like he's defending your honor already' he turns to Caroline to give her a smirk and a suggestive tilt of his head, pretending like he doesn't know the actual reason behind Nik's silent scolding! _

_'Your friend is an ass' Caroline says to Nik, completely ignoring Stefan 'But what else did I expect, I mean he's _your _friend' she breaks her lips into a catlike smile. I inwardly laugh. Caroline was tough, no one can ever beat her in words. _

_'Ouch' Nik mouths, pressing a hand to his chest. _

_'I'm just honest' she shrugs, then turns to me 'And by the way, I still think she has the right to be jealous' she stubbornly nods. _

_'Give up already!' I insist 'You've heard Nik, that's my proof!' _

_'As if I'm gonna let your brother's opinion decide what I think' she dramatically says 'He doesn't even believe in soul-mates' she adds quickly _

_'Hey, I believe in soul-mates' Nik objects and we both give him a look, quirking an eyebrow at him 'OK, I don't' he sighs. _

_'Gee' Stefan chimes in 'Those girls are too tough' he steps inside and runs to the kitchen, throwing his jacket on the table 'You got any pizza?' he asks, rummaging through the fridge. I can't help but let my eyes wander all over him. _

_'We don't. But we can order if you want' I immediately volunteer enthusiastically. _

_'Yeah, Bex' he says, lifting his eyes to meet mine with an adorable smile 'I'd like that' _

_Oh, how much I hate it when he does that and make me blush!_

_'Then go order' Caroline snaps and I nudge her in the elbow. I hear Stefan chuckling. _

_'What?' I ask her as we turn our backs on the two men. _

_'Seriously, Bex, the guy is a dick. Stop being so soft with him, toughen up and he'll fall on his head' she advises whisperingly. _

_'Is that what you're doing with Nik?' I ask, tilting my head to the side. _

_'Maybe' she smirks. I roll my eyes. _

I should have never introduced those two!

_The problem is that they are playing the cat and mouse game. And Nik always wins in this game… always._

_**. . .**  
_

I do not know how I manage to change into some random outfit, brush my hair, hop into my car and drive through the traffic all in less than forty-five minutes. My attention hardly shifts to the road as I avoid crowded streets and speed through highways recklessly. I feel cold sweat building up on my forehead in fear of what would come and my heart races faster than my reckless driving. I've only suffered that kind of anxiety once before, when Nik was 20 and drove off the road deliberately.

I shake my head lightly as I turn into a residential street. The area is rather beautiful, quiet and extremely cozy-looking. It looks like one of those places where parents decide to have permanent residence in and make friends with the neighbors. I quickly scan the numbers of the houses until I reach the supposed right address.

The house is small and elegant, painted white with a wooden door. The garden in the front yard is carefully tended and there are flowerbeds everywhere. I hardly stop to contemplate its beauty though, jogging to the front door as soon as I recklessly park the car. My hands tremble as I ring the bell. There's no movement for a good minute that feel like an eternity as I uncomfortably shift my weight from one foot another. I ring the bell again more urgently this time, and start tapping my foot on the wooden porch.

Lastly, I hear footsteps faintly from the other side. The door slowly opens, and the further it swings opened the faster my heart beats. A ghostly version of my blonde friend cocks its head from the small crack of the door. Tears form in my eyes immediately; I try to blink them away, not wanting my vision to get blurred. I can clearly see her tears, though. Her eyes are puffed and red from all the crying and other parts of her face seem to be suffering tremendously.

'Caroline' I breathe out, half-shocked, half-terrified.

She swallows loudly and motions for me to enter. I do not need to be told twice, quickly striding into the house and ignoring all the tears that want to spring from my eyes. I can feel them heavily forming, as though they have been building-up for ten years, threatening to overwhelm me now. It's so hard to swallow the lump in my throat at the sight of her bloated cheek and lips, at the sight of her frightened eyes.

_I think I'm right. I hope I'm wrong._

I clear my throat, avoiding her eyes as though I am guilty with a crime.

'You came' Caroline breathes, a tear trickling down her face

'Of course I did, Care' my voice comes shaky, despite my attempts to keep it light.

'I've missed you' she confesses hoarsely.

'I've missed you, too' I no longer hold back the tears. I let them flow freely down my face as I hug her.

_I've missed my friend so much. Where is my friend? What happened to her? _

She whimpers, flinching and pulling away quickly. I give her a quizzical glance as she clutches her side and looks everywhere except at me.

'What's going on, Caroline?' I inquire anxiously, attempting to keep my face in-check while she bites down on her lower lip.

'Nothing' she shakes her head lightly.

'There's obviously something' I snap, narrowing my eyes and wiping my tears away.

'I've been in an accident' she mutters, dropping her gaze to the ground.

'Caroline' I warn her.

_Gosh, I hope I'm wrong. _

'Nothing is wrong' she breaks a weak smile that comes out rather awkward with her swelled cheek 'I'm just really glad to see you'

I lick my upper lip, looking down for a second 'What were you talking about over the phone?' I ask her lastly, crossing my arms on my chest.

She looks up at me with terrified eyes as her lips start to quiver.

'Nothing' she feebly replies, tears reemerging in her no-longer-lively blue eyes.

I shake my head frantically 'It did not sound like nothing' I slowly say.

'Please, Rebekah' she starts desperately 'Don't make me say anything. Can't we just catch up?'

I frown thoughtfully for several minutes before nodding slowly.

She smiles at me that distorted shaky smile and guides me to the living room where we drop to her couch. She squirms uncomfortably, flinching with pain at whatever seating position she tries to take.

'Are you sure you're alright?' I ask, knowing the answer perfectly.

_Can't I just be wrong? _

She nods with a weak smile and settles reluctantly, quite clearly still uncomfortable.

'How's everything?' she starts after a prolonged moment of awkward silence in which I intently observed her movements.

I do not reply for a good ten seconds and she swallows down, changing her position again so that her knees are brought up to her chest. She recoils with a low _ouch _and plants her feet on the floor again.

'I'm not going to make you say anything, Care' I suddenly start, adding carefully and emphasizing every word 'But you _can _tell me whatever you think you can't say. Nobody will know that you said it. _Nobody' _

She looks down at her hands thoughtfully. I hold my breath, waiting and dreading the upcoming confession.

_I just hope I'm wrong; _the idea keeps nagging at me.

'My husband beats me' she whispers

_WHY DID I HAVE TO BE RIGHT THIS TIME? _My brain furiously protests but I calm down the storm in my head, focusing back on keeping a straight face which I am positive does not work the slightest bit.

'He beats me every time he has the chance to' she continues in a very low tone that I have to lean in to fully understand what she is saying 'Whenever I do something he does not like. Whenever I talk about something he does not want to hear. Whenever I dare to skip making dinner because I am too sick, whenever I dare to disagree with him, whenever I talk to someone who is not him, he beats me, Rebekah' her voice shakes as tears roll down her face.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I am shaking from head to toe and having the extreme urge to vomit.

'And I wish he just beats me' she adds. And I am suddenly thankful that my stomach is too empty for any contents to be forced out.

Finally she looks up at me and I see the look of pure terror in her eyes. Whatever my face tells her, unnerves her even more 'Stop trying to keep a straight face, Bex, I know you are out of your mind disgusted'

I gulp down, taking interest in my hands where they are tightly clasped on my lap.

'I've never told anyone that' she continues with waves and waves of pain and sadness invading her face and tone. I can't help but recoil at the sight of her anguish.

'And if he knows that I have told anyone….' She trails off; flinching at the mere thought 'I think he might kill me, Bekah'

'He won't find out' is all I can say and I curse myself. I seem to be completely and absolutely frozen, unable to either do or say anything that could remotely make her feel better. Simply flabbergasted and utterly useless I find myself while raking my brain for anything that could be of any use. I consider putting an arm around her shoulders to comfort her, but decide against it for I do not know where else that bastard have hit her, and I am sure that I do not want to know, either.

'Gosh, Bex, I've been so alone for so long that I don't even know how to talk to anyone anymore' she says through a stream of tears as my own threaten to reemerge. She leans forward, resting her elbows on her thighs and burying her face in her hands 'My worst nightmare happened, Rebekah' her muffled voice tells me. I put a hand on her back comfortingly but very carefully.

'I've fallen for the worst person in the world. I was a fool enough to believe him. I let him turn me into someone I'm not. I let myself go through hell and I don't even know how to get out. I was so stupid. I was so stupid' she says between hysterical sobs.

'Don't say that' my voice shakily whispers 'It was not your fault. You know how they can be manipulative'

'I keep thinking that there must've been signs that I missed or something' she says, looking back at me 'but I can't think of one thing that could have made me change my mind about him. And I don't know if the signs were truly there or I was just too stupid to see them'

'You couldn't have known, Caroline' I quietly tell her. My head is boiling with rage, I want to go to that asshole and kick his ass all the way back to his mother's womb. I want to tear out his heart and eat his liver, _anything _that would make him suffer until he wishes he was never born. I clench my jaw containing my anger, being there for Caroline is a priority now, and my anger she doesn't need.

'When did you meet him?' I ask her calmly, trying to comprehend the full story.

'Two years and a half ago' she answers 'I was at a friend's birthday party. It was such a boring one and I had just broke-up with Matt' she continues 'With you gone and …. Nik gone, and everything seeming to crumble down, I found him there, giving me a cheeky grin and asking me why I looked so freakishly annoyed. He was funny, charming, and a good guy, or at least that's what I thought. Things happened too fast after that. Nine months after we met he proposed and I jumped on the offer. I was too madly in love with him to even consider what I was doing. I was too afraid to stop and think about it that I might back-down. I thought that that would make me lose him, and I couldn't afford losing anyone else' she whispers her last sentence, causing me to drop my gaze 'so I just went along with it without stopping. And before I knew it I was married to him, Tyler Lockwood' she pauses, looking down on the ground for a second 'Of course he didn't beat me until we got married.'

'How long did he wait before doing it for the first time?' I ask, swallowing the rising lump in my throat.

'Five days' she whispers 'We were spending our honeymoon in his beach-house when he first did it'

* * *

_I walk back into the house happily, doing a little dance for having met an old friend who reminded me of people I once loved dearly. I was casually strolling on the beach when I saw him flashing me a grin that was his trademark. _

_'Where have you been, tough girl?' He asked looking me over in my bathing suit 'You look astounding!' he said and I twirled around for him, unable to stop my giggles. _

_'Around' I answered him 'I was just too busy finding my soul mate' I romantically told him _

_'Oh yeah?' he rose an eyebrow at me 'Is he anything like Nik?' _

_I shook my head, rolling my eyes 'No, Stefan, he's not' _

_'That's my girl' he applauded and I giggled before hugging him quickly and catching up with my husband. _

_I see Tyler standing on the back porch that looks over the sea as I walk into the living-room. He seems deep in thoughts and I smile to myself, deciding to surprise him with my comeback. _

_Quietly, I tip-toe to where he stands leaning on the fence. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind, and feel him go stiff in my arms. _

_'Relax' I whisper in his ear seductively 'It's just me' _

_He grabs my arms and forces me to break the embrace, turning around for me to see the angry expression on his face. I frown, thoroughly confused at his expression. It was only an hour ago since we were laughing and teasing each other. _

_'What's wrong?' I ask him as he walks back into the living-room. _

_He paces the room rapidly causing me to plant myself in the ground near the balcony, waiting for him to explain himself and trying hard to contain my confusion. _

_'Who was that guy?' he asks a bit too loudly for my taste and far too rudely but I let it slide. _

_'Stefan' I say quietly 'He's an old friend' _

_'An old friend or an ex-boyfriend' he scoffs 'Maybe even a current lover' he adds under her breath. _

_'An old friend' I answer impatiently, crossing my arms on my chest 'What's wrong with you?' _

_'Wrong with me?' he stops dead in his tracks and glares at me 'You are the one who is lying to me!' he thunders. _

_'What?' I shake my head frowning 'I'm not lying to you. Stefan is an old friend. Period. Quit asking me about it.'_

_I don't see it coming, but he strides towards me and grabs my arm roughly, twisting it 'His eyes were all over you, he was one step away from fucking you right then, right there and you were happy about it' he spits, bringing his face closer to mine. _

_'What are you talking about?' I try to pull my arm free from his grasp, but he wouldn't budge, instead drags me further into the room 'Stop it! You're hurting me' I whimper as he twists it even more with his nails digging deep into my skin. _

_'You are a liar, Caroline! Tell me what the hell is going on between you and him?' he roars 'How long have you been sleeping with him? huh? Was it during our engagement? Or since before, tell me now, you bitch' _

_'What the hell is wrong with you, Tyler?' I snap at him 'I've done nothing, let go of my arm' I try to struggle against him, but my shock and confusion make it impossible for me to win a fight against his angry and extremely strong hold over me. I do not know what to think of our fight, Tyler never acted like that any time before. And the direction of our conversation is turning to a dreadful route. _

_He does as I request, just so he can slap me across the face. I taste blood in my mouth and feel it flowing from my nose, and I stumble backwards and fall to the ground, a mixture of fury and shock taking over my mind. _

_'How dare you?' I shout at him 'You fucking bastard! I'll report you! I'll send you to jail and let you rot in prison' _

_He kneels down beside me and grabs my shoulders, his fingers digging deep into my skin. _

_'Yeah you do that' he says through gritted teeth 'And I'll kill you. You can't do anything to me and you know it, Caroline, so might as well keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut and let it do the only thing that it's meant to do' with that said, he crushes his lips to mine, but I refuse to surrender, fighting against him. For the first time during the whole year we have been together, I am disgusted by his touch. _

_'Get away from me you sick freak' I say when I manage to pull my face away from his for the tiniest bit. I am shocked beyond words when he roughly pins me down on the ground to start kissing me again. When I fight him again, his knee roughly kicks me in the stomach. I gasp at the jolting pain. _

_'Tyler, stop!' I desperately say as he works to get me out of my clothes. Despite myself tears start streaming down my face, I am not sure if they are caused by the physical pain or the shock or the gradual realization of what I had gotten myself into. He practically rips my bathing suit off of me, roughly kissing, squeezing, and occasionally slapping whatever part he wants of me just to pleasure himself. _

_'You are just mine' he hisses in my ear, smashing himself into me. I jolt with pain and a low yelp leave my mouth. _

_The Tyler I know is nothing but a fragment of my imagination. Tyler Lockwood is a sick, psychotic bastard. _

**. . . **

'I tried to run away that night' I continue after a pause, still dodging Rebekah's eyes and stunned expression 'But I did not make it too far away. He had me back at the house two hours later and …' I flinch at the memory 'You can imagine what happened' is what I settle for, sparing her any further details as well as sparing myself from vividly reliving them 'I tried to run away a couple of months after that incident but he caught me again and I realized there was no use. All my bank accounts were closed, not that I had anything of worth in them to begin with and I had no way to get my hands on any money and nowhere to go where he wouldn't find me. So I gave up' I finally meet her eyes.

After a long moment of silence she shoots up to her feet, striding the length of the room back and forth with her arms crossed tightly on her chest and her head down, staring intently at the floor as though coming up with some sort of a solution.

'Why didn't you report him?' she asks suddenly without stopping for a second.

'He is a cop, Bex' I quietly tell her 'a detective actually, who has big connections because his dad is a big shot, too. No one was going to believe me, and he would find out as soon as I report him. Reporting him was never an option'

'Why did it take you so long to decide to run away?' she almost snaps. I know she is not mad at me; she is simply upset with the whole situation so I answer her calmly. Her fit of rage is inevitable.

'Because I was afraid' I almost say shyly 'I was afraid to look outside the house let alone think of leaving him' I feel my tears pooling in my eyes, threatening to overwhelm me, again 'Until one night, I almost killed myself'

Rebekah stops dead in her tracks. She stands as still as a marble statue for several seconds trying to process my words. Alas, she turns to me, wide-eyed with a mixture of horror and shock.

'You what?' she asks robotically.

I look down at my hand 'There was this day' I start shakily hardly suppressing my tears 'when I couldn't take it anymore. So I filled the tub with warm water and was about to slit my wrist and get over with it' a tear trickles down my cheek 'It was just too much and I couldn't take it, and I just wanted it to be over. I did not know what else to do. Then I saw blood starting to flow from my wrist and I couldn't get on with it. I remembered all those days when I had dreams, when I wanted to live to the fullest, when my life was beautiful and happy, when I believed in soul mates and friendship. So I stopped. And it was that day when I decided I owed it to myself to try my best to run away and resume living my life. It was that day when I decided to set a plan to leave him. The first two times I have done it on impulse, that's why he always found out, but this time, I'm planning on it. And all I can do is hope that I have the chance to actually escape him' the words flow from my mouth effortlessly. Even though Rebekah and I have not talked in a million years, talking to her is still so easy, so comforting, so natural that it feels like nothing ever happened, like no time or troubles separated us.

She stays silent for an eternity, gluing her eyes to the ground as I look expectantly at her.

'You are not staying one second longer in here' she says firmly, her sharp gaze meeting mine.

'What?' I blink, taken aback by the sternness of her voice.

'You are coming with me right now and let that bastard rot in hell' She spits 'I'll send Nik to kick his ass tonight'

'What? NO!' I immediately blurt out 'Please, Bex, you can't tell Nik anything, you can't tell _anyone_ anything. I won't let you drag anyone into this situation. I swear Tyler would hurt whoever dares to come as close as an inch to helping me' I say quickly, hysterically. My sharp breaths make the pain in my lower ribs reach new stinging levels, but I bite my lip harshly, suppressing a groan that would not make such a good argument.

'We are very capable of taking care of ourselves, Caroline' she almost yells 'It is you who we have to protect from that sick bastard' she argues

'No, Rebekah, please' I desperately say 'You have to promise me you won't tell anyone; not even Nik. Especially Nik. I didn't tell you so you would do anything for me; I just wanted to talk to someone. Please, _please,_ Bex, you have to understand, I can't drag anyone into this with me. He'll use you against me. You have no idea what he would do just to keep me tied to him'

'Then what, you prefer to stay here?' She snaps, tears in her own eyes as she clenches her jaw 'until when, Caroline, until he sucks the life out of you? Until you fill the bath tub with warm water _again,_ but without changing your mind? Until he destroys you in every way possible? Hell, he's already turned you into a ghost of yourself, Caroline, what are you waiting for? Just come with me! He'll never know' her voice breaks and her tears start streaming down her face.

'I can't!' I say, my voice a pitch higher than intended 'I can't just leave like that, Bex; I need to plan it out. I have to do this on my own and I will leave him without putting you in harm's way, not even remotely. You have to trust me. It's only a matter of time before I leave him'

Rebekah huffs in frustration, pressing a hand to her forehead 'I can't just leave you here, either, Caroline. It's ridiculous and the most impossible thing anyone could ever ask me' she sadly says

'Please, Bex' I stand, coming closer to her 'You have to trust me on this one'

Her eyes narrow, studying me closely.

'I can't just leave you in this, Caroline. I have to help you' she says calmly, although her eyes reflect all colors of anger and frustration.

'This is my fight, Bekah' I say looking straight into her narrowed eyes 'I just want you to be there for me and not spill a single word to anyone'

'OK' she nods reluctantly 'But..' the ringing of her phone interrupts her sentence.

I smile widely, ignoring the fierce protests of my injured cheek, at the sound of a familiar theme song.

'You still watch that?' I ask her, a quick flashback of us fighting over fictional characters rushing through my mind.

'Yeah' she gives me a slight smile, hanging up on the caller 'I wait for every single episode' she confesses.

'Me too!' I exclaim enthusiastically. Watching Grey's Anatomy is probably the only thing that Tyler had not taken away from me.

'You do?' she almost squeals. It suddenly feels like we are five years ago, back in our small apartment discussing and analyzing the characters 'I hardly find anyone to talk to about it!' She grins.

'Me too!' I say and all laughter fades suddenly as her eyes water and I drop my gaze. I have no one to talk to about anything.

'Remember when we fought about whether Meredith had the right to be jealous of Rose or not?' I say, trying to lighten the mood.

'Yes' she says, more than willing to close the subjects of disturbance 'I remember it very clearly, and I still think she had no right to be jealous' she crosses her arms on her chest firmly.

'I think you're right' I confess quietly

'What?' her jaw practically drops

'Come on, Bex, my theory was based on soul mates crap. I was that naïve' I say between chuckles.

_Soul mates, _the mere thought makes me scoff. There's no such a thing as soul mates. The fantasy of soul mates is what led me here all along. All the ridiculous things that my foolish heart did were driven by that pathetic fairytale-ish idea.

Rebekah licks her upper lip 'I'm kinda sorry that you think that, Care'

'You can't stay forever a naïve, romantic girl, Bex. Life slaps you across the face so you would wake-up and open your eyes whether you wanted to or not'

* * *

I don't know for how long I sit in my car crying, and uncontrollably so. I drive through the city streets without any particular target in my head, just the thought of having fresh air sweeping through the window on my mind. I drive until the school buses drive kids back home, and until the sun starts setting. I do not want to think of anything, but my thoughts rush repeatedly through my head and I cannot stop them, imagining all the things that Caroline had to go through and all the times I should have been there for her. I miss Caroline more than any other time now. Seeing a ghost of her only reminded me of how much she meant to me and how great of friends we were. I have always comforted myself with the thought of her probably being safe and healthy and living her life, now that I have seen her, nothing could ever comfort my troubled mind. How did things get so out of control? How did so much happen to her in so little time?

I shake my head as though that would somehow wipe away my thoughts. Before I know it I'm pulling up at the entrance of Nik's work location. Even after everything that's happened between us, he remained the one person I go to whenever I need company. He's still my best friend.

Seeing him right now may not be the best choice, but I cannot help myself. For some reason I feel the excessive urge of talking to him, other than the fact that I'm in desperate need for his help.

'Hello, sister' he says as I enter his office with a smile that soon disappears 'You look terrible' he frowns

'Thank you very much, Nik, you truly know how to make a lady feel special' I snap at him, trying to hide my distress by joking.

'Come now, Bekah' he says, coming round his desk 'what's happened? I called you around twenty times and you didn't answer'

'Just busy' I shrug.

He raises an eyebrow at me.

I lick my lip, looking down.

'Nik, I need your help' I blurt out, looking back at his surprised face.

'With what?' he frowns at me.

'I nee…' I start but a childish squeal and the sound of small feet tapping against the ground come from behind me.

'Auntie Rebekah!' I turn around to see Little Johnny beaming at me.

'Hey, Johnny!' I exclaim cheerily, kneeling so I was in level with his adorable, chubby face 'You've gotten so big since I've seen you last time!' I pull him in a hug and he wraps his tiny arms around my neck.

'You always say that when you see me, auntie' Johnny says seriously when he pulls away.

'Do I? You are too smart for such a young boy' I fake a playfully shocked expression and he giggles, showing those dimples that match his father's

He leaves my side to run towards his backpack where it lay in the corner.

'Johnny' Nik says firmly 'What did I say about running in the office?'

Johnny turns around to face his father with puppy apologetic eyes 'Sorry, daddy. I won't do it again'

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please tell me what you think! **

**Also, I have a tumblr now find me at lostheart95, so if you wanna ask me a question, request a drabble.. etc. I'll be there :D Never hesitate to tell me anything :))  
**

**KBYETHANKS **


	4. Remember the Time

**HELLO EVERYONE! How are you guys? I'm great, thanks for asking, having one of those days when I'm high with an over-dose of Klaroline and in such a perfect mood! **

**OK, so me is ranting, that's no good. Before you read this chapter, you should know that the absolutely GORGEOUS cover was not made by me (God forbids) it was made by the amazing leetje (find her on Tumblr :D) and I'm super happy with it (DUH)! **

**Another thing you should know that's actually relevant to the story is that... No wait, that has to be in the author's note below otherwise it'll be spoilery.. so for now: Happy reading! Enjoy :D **

* * *

**Chapter 4: Remember the Time**

* * *

'Sorry, daddy. I won't do it again' Johnny apologizes firmly.

'That's alright now. Just gather your things and we'll be heading back home' I tell him evenly despite the extreme adorableness of his apology, with his puppy blue eyes and serious tone.

'Can we talk about this at home, Bekah?' I ask turning my attention to my awfully-looking sister. Her hair is a mess and her eyes are swollen as though she spent the entire day crying 'We'll have better privacy, anyway' I tell her.

And she nods absently, as though something else is on her mind as her eyes stay glued to whatever Johnny is doing.

'Rebekah, sweetheart, I'm talking to you' I tilt my head at her, talking in a pitch higher tone.

'You know you are really good with him' she says suddenly, snapping her head back in my direction 'I never thought you would be good at parenting, but I was wrong'

I blink in surprise, my face taking a confused frown instantly. Why is she acting like something terrible has happened?

'Bekah, is everything OK?' I inquire again.

'Yes' she insists without looking me in the eye then darts out of the office 'Lets meet back at your place. I still need to talk to you' she says walking away.

I stare at the vacant space she walked through a second ago and sigh heavily. Knowing Rebekah too well, I am certain that there is something major that's happened but she is trying to hide it. The fact pushes a heavy feeling down on my chest as my mind storms with all these thoughts and questions of what it is exactly that ails my little sister's mind. With all my heart I hope it has nothing to do with any of my family members, for I have no interest at all in reconciling what has been broken for quite some time now, nor am I interested in hearing a lecture about their importance in my life.

'Daddy' Johnny suddenly interrupts my thoughts 'Why auntie Rebekah looks sad?' he asks, looking sad himself.

'I don't know' I frown playfully 'You think we should cheer her up?' I ask coming closer to him.

'Yes!' he squeals enthusiastically.

'What should we do, Johnny?' I wonder seriously, helping him slide his small hands through the straps of his backpack.

'Give her something she likes!' he suggests cheerfully.

'Like what?' I inquire.

'Umm' he squints his eyes thoughtfully. It takes mighty strength to keep myself from laughing at his expression 'Chocolate cake!' he claps 'She always eats chocolate cake, so she like it. Right, daddy?'

'Absolutely!' I make no attempt to hide my admiration 'You are such a clever young man!'

He giggles as I throw him over my shoulder and carry him outside the office.

'So we'll give her chocolate cake?' he asks.

'Yes' I answer him between chuckles.

'Tell her that it's my idea. So she would love me more than you' he says seriously.

I laugh 'Alright, alright. If that's what you want'

**. . .**

Rebekah is bickering with Stefan by the time Johnny and I arrive back home. Stefan is annoying the hell out of my sister by completely ignoring her and continuing to play some sort of a video game.

'Goddammit, Stefan, just turn the goddamn voice down!' Rebekah is saying.

'Forget it, Sexy Bex, who doesn't look so sexy today! I need the sound to get into it' he says trying to look beyond her blocking figure by tilting his head to the right. She smacks the crown of his head.

'Ouch!' he says looking up at her 'What was that for?!'

'You know what' she glares at him, folding her arms across her chest.

'Shit!' he mouths 'Now I'm dead!' he points to the screen, huffing at Rebekah.

'Hello, Stefan' I say with a hint of warning in my voice from the doorway 'I'm here with _Johnny _' I emphasize.

'Oh!' he says, and they both turn to us as though just noting our presence 'Hey Johnny' he cheerfully greets.

'Mommy says that Uncle Stefan is bad because he swears a lot' Johnny says with a frown without acknowledging Stefan's existence but talking to his aunt instead. Rebekah and I chuckle.

'You've developed yourself quite the reputation' I say sarcastically.

'Whatever' Stefan shrugs.

'Why is he still here?' Rebekah chimes in, clearly irritated.

'Because, Bex' he starts turning back to the absurd video game he's been playing constantly for two months now 'My apartment was set on fire and I'm still waiting for it to be fixed. Would you rather have me roaming around the streets for shelter instead?' he gives her his puppy eyes.

'What do you know, his apartment is on fire and the first thing he does is save his X-Box' she mocks him.

'Priorities, Sexy Bex, priorities' he raises his eyebrows at her amusedly.

I roll my eyes 'Stop bickering. Stefan, please, turn the TV into something that is appropriate for kids' I order.

'Yes, sir' Stefan mocks, reluctantly switching the channel into a football game.

'Auntie Rebekah!' Johnny suddenly squeals 'We brought you chocolate cake because you are sad'

'Oh, you did?' Rebekah opens her mouth in playful shock.

'Yes! It was my idea' he grins at her.

'Thank you, thank you, thank you!' she squeals, jogging towards him and picking him whilst showering him with kisses.

We have dinner that includes a lot of vegetables after being scolded by Johnny's mom for the unhealthy dinners I have been giving him during the weekends he spends with me.

'You need to set a role-model' she said firmly the last time she came to pick him up 'And you are just trying to be the cool daddy! That's not how parenting work!' she spat.

Even though I rolled my eyes at her, I still admitted that most of the time, I have no clue what I'm doing.

'Why are there so many veggies in our food today?' Stefan complains as soon as he sits down on the table.

'You mean why there are so many veggies like every day?' I retort, giving Stefan a disapproving glance.

'You don't eat veggies every day, daddy' Johnny giggles 'Mommy told you to say that!'

I laugh nervously.

'Your kid is smarter than you, Nik' Stefan amusedly says.

'Yes, he is' I say, rubbing his curly-brown hair 'But if he doesn't eat his veggies he won't be having a piece of that chocolate cake'

'OK, daddy' he sighs and Rebekah bites her lip to stop from laughing.

'Good boy' I pat him on the shoulder.

_I really have no clue what I'm doing! _

I cut a small piece of cake for Johnny and shoe him to sit next to Stefan, giving the latter a warning glare about keeping his attitude in-check while Rebekah and I sit in the kitchen.

'What's going on, little sister?' I ask her as she sits on the counter, looking down at her hand instead of looking at me.

'Nik, do you trust me?' she asks seriously.

I gulp down 'Yes' I did not trust her before, though. I did not trust anyone before.

'Then will you help me without asking questions?' she says quietly.

'With what?' I inquire impatiently frowning and leaning on the counter beside her.

She takes a deep breath 'You know in your days of mischief how you knew all these people who could fake identities for you, so you'd never have to use your real one in your dirty work?' she asks, still not meeting my eyes.

'Yes' I answer her expectantly, not quite contented with the direction of the conversation.

'I need you to tell me how to contact them' she quickly request.

I flinch, momentarily shocked. Why would she need to contact such people? As far as I can tell my sister has never been involved in any kind of criminal act that could make her turn into such people's help.

'Why do you need that, Bekah?' I ask her cautiously 'Are you in trouble?'

'No!' she immediately answers, looking at me sternly. From the look in her eyes, I know that she is not lying 'I'm not, I promise' she assures me.

'Then why would you need them? Is Kol or Elijah in trouble?' I ask urgently despite my attempt to stay neutral.

'No' she mutters. A few moments of silence pass before she returns back into staring intently at her hands 'Look, I can't say anything about why I need them, but it is important, Nik. And I need you to trust me on this one'

I sigh heavily, looking at my clasped hand on the counter, too 'Assuming that I still know how to get to them, there's no way that I would send you there alone. I won't send you to them altogether, sister. They are filthy people I wouldn't want you to come as close as a mile from them.'

'But, Nik, it's very important, and it is not for me' she pleads.

'Bekah, I'm sorry but..' I start.

'Nik, please' she cuts me of, taking hold of my elbow gently and forcing me to look at her. The look in her eyes is one of extreme desperation to the point that they are forming tears, and that only makes my anxiety escalate. Rebekah is not one to beg unless she has no other way. She is not one to beg for herself, either 'I'm asking you to trust me on this one. I'll take someone with me. I won't go alone. But please, you _have _to trust that I'm doing it for someone who is very important to me and in desperate need of my help' she pleads.

I lick my upper lip 'Assuming that I do give you the way and you do have someone to accompany you to that forsaken place, you can't do anything, Bekah. These people take money, and _plenty _of it. Where else do you think I've squandered whatever mother used to give me?'

'I'll borrow some from Elijah' Rebekah immediately answers.

I shake my head frantically 'Can I at least come with you on whatever suicide mission you are planning?'

'I really can't have you knowing anything about this, Nik' she mutters, sighing 'I've been sworn to secrecy'

'By the person who needs the dirty work you'll do for them?' I ask disbelievingly. She has that extremely harmful habit of giving her heart to the wrong people. Repeatedly, she's been hurt and betrayed, but she goes back to forgiving whoever hurt her. And I happen to top the list of those who hurt her.

'The person doesn't know that I'm doing this for them' she answers, defending whoever it is that required her extreme attention 'But they need it desperately'

'I just wish I know who it is that you are talking about. They don't seem to be worth the trouble to me, Bekah' I squint at her, thoughtfully.

'They do. You would do it, too' she firmly confirms.

I would do it as well? Who could that possibly be and what kind of cause would make me go back to that unlikable past of mine? I can think of no one who is not Rebekah or Johnny who would earn that.

Unless …

'Bekah, have you spoken to Caroline?' I ask her when it finally hits me. Last night I told Rebekah about meeting Caroline and gave her Caroline's phone number. Rebekah seems to have had the worst morning today and by how eager she was to talk to Caroline I suspect that she waited five minutes after our phone call to talk to the latter.

Caroline looked distraught when I saw her. The pieces fall together and my heart starts uncontrollably pounding.

'No' her eyes narrow.

'You're lying' I accuse 'You have spoken to her and you are trying to hide it. And asking me for a way to contact those horrible people? Why, Rebekah? What's happened? What's happened to Caroline?' I urge her to talk, my tone going a pitch higher than intended, straightening my posture.

'There's nothing wrong with Caroline' she snaps 'I just needed your help, Nik, OK? Forget that I said anything' she almost yells, grabbing her purse and heading out of the small apartment.

'Bekah, wait' I jog after her into the hallway under Stefan's and Johnny's wondering gazes 'Wait' I catch up to her, grabbing her elbow and forcing her to twirl around and look at me 'If Caroline is in danger I need to know' I tell her quietly, not attempting to hide my anxiety the least bit, as my sharp eyes meet her angry ones.

'Why?' she snaps 'What gives you the right to know what's happened to her or be involved in any part of her life? According to what are you concerned about her? As the man who broke her heart? Excuse me, Nik, but you have no demand over her messed-up life the least bit, because you threw her into it'

I blink, swallowing a rising lump in my throat and loosening my grip on her elbow 'What are you talking about, sister? What messed-up life? How have I thrown her into it?' I ask apprehensively.

She shuts her eyes tightly, gluing her eyes to the floor and shaking my hand off.

'Tell me, sister. What have I done?' I urge her 'What is she involved in?'

She does not answer.

'Tell me!' I impatiently say through gritted teeth, grabbing her shoulders a little too harshly.

'I can't!' she shouts 'I can't tell you what's happened. She made me promise I wouldn't and I have let go of my promise and failed her once I will not do that again, Nik, so you can stop asking me'

I let go of her, huffing in frustration 'Will you ever tell me?' I ask calmly, masking the raging storm in my head.

'If I am ever allowed to' she quietly says.

'Alright' I tell her after a short moment of silence 'So she desperately needs your help?'

'Yes' she composedly answers.

'Then I will help you, Bekah, but you have to promise me that you will be one million percent careful and that you will not go alone'

'I promise' she quickly says, raising her hand up in a vowing manner.

I sigh, telling her what to do in detail.

**. . . **

_'I can't get this goddamned paper done!' she huffs in frustration, throwing her glasses away as I walk into the small apartment. _

_Caroline looks absolutely adorable with her tied-up hair and baggy hoodie and sweatpants, looking like a woman on a mission. _

_'What's going on?' I ask her, smiling despite myself. _

_'I have this stupid history paper I have to do about the Spanish civil war but I can't seem to be able to write anything that's actually worth the typing!' she sulks, snapping her laptop shut a bit too harshly. _

_'I'm sure it's not that bad' I say encouragingly, moving the mess of papers away from beside her on the couch to take a seat. _

_'It _is _that bad!' she insists 'And your sister said she'd help me but decided that her frigging midterm was far more difficult and that she needed to go to the library and have a moment of peace to study' _

_I chuckle at her nerves. _

_'It's not funny' she frown at me 'I have to submit this within the next five hours or I'll lose 15% of my final grade.' _

_'I didn't know you were such a nerd' I tease. _

_She rolls her eyes 'I'm not. But I'm on a scholarship and can't pay a dime for my education if I lost it. So the least I can do is keep that scholarship' she explains hurriedly 'And why are you here anyway? You're distracting me. Go away' she shoes me pointing to the door. _

_'I came here to see Rebekah' I say a bit too smilingly. How come this girl always looks so incredibly breathtaking even when she is not trying? How come there's this unexplainable jerk of giddiness in my stomach whenever I lay eyes on her? _

_I shrug my thoughts away. _

_'But since she is not here...' I say, taking her laptop from her slowly 'and you need help, I will help you fix this paper of yours' I open the laptop and the draft immediately greets me. _

_'You would?' she asks, seeming genuinely surprised._

_'Of course I would' I shrug indifferently, trying to focus my attention on the written words rather than on the beautiful blonde ball of sunshine sitting a tad too close to me. _

_'Thank you!' she claps cheerfully. _

_'Anytime, love' I smile at her, and she rewards me with the most stunning joyful smile I have ever seen. It is the first time that I get to compliment her smiling face from a close distance. Her face seems to glow as her smile breaks its way into it, her eyes sparkle beautifully as the spread grin shows a faint hint of dimples that makes her even more beautiful. I have the sudden urge to trace the outline of her rounded face, to trace my fingers over the pink inviting lips, the soft cheeks, then through those blonde curls. I would untie her hair; let it flow freely just like she flows, carefree and spontaneous, energetic and warm. I would remove the offensive clothing from her luscious body, and trace my fingers along the soft skin of her shoulders and down to her breasts, feel their soft weight in my palms and hear her moan, trail a line of kisses from the corner of those beautiful lips, down to her jawline, her throat and neck… I desire nothing more than that. _

_'What?' she raises an eyebrow at me and forces my mind out of its musings. _

_'Nothing' I clear my throat. Fortunately, I have managed to keep my eyes staring into hers rather than having them wander freely._

This is highly inappropriate. _I scoff at the thought, _as if that stopped me before.

_I have to read the first line several times to fully comprehend it, still a little distracted by my own thoughts and rattled by their direction. The fact that she is intently staring at me makes it even harder to concentrate as the urge to grab her and kiss her grow harder to resist._

_'How come you sound like someone from centuries ago?' she asks suddenly._

_'Pardon?' I turn my attention back to her. _

_'You sound like someone who's from another time sometimes. You know like the way you talk' she points out frankly. _

_'Is this because of the accent? Because I get that a lot' I ask her, smirking 'I've been told it's hot' _

_'It's not about the accent' she rolls her eyes, but blushes. _

_'You think it's hot, too, don't you?' I tease_

_'I don't think it's hot' she insists firmly, but the spark of mischief in her eyes suggest otherwise. _

_I raise my eyebrows at her with a suggestive smile. _

_'Fine' she huffs 'It's _Kind of _hot' _

_'"Kind of" is the beginning' I whisper in that sweet tone that I know works on girls like magic. _

_She giggles despite her attempts to stop it and I can't help but laugh with her. What is it that makes her laugh so contagious? _

_'But seriously, you didn't answer my question' she says after the laughter's calmed 'I mean it's not just you, even Elijah sounds like Mr. Darcy. I don't know about Kol or Finn, but Bex can sound pretty sophisticated sometimes, too. Is it like a Mikealsons thing?' She asks, turning in her seat to fully face me and crossing her legs on the couch._

_'You can say that it is' I answer neutrally 'that's mostly because when we were kids father used to make us sit in the library every day for three hours reading the finest pieces of literature, finest by his choice of course. So by the age of twelve we all knew too many words for our age and they stayed with us' _

_'Oh' is all she mouths for a second 'Rebekah never told me about that' _

_'That's probably because she was the laziest reader of us all and went out of her mind bored in those three hours' I say between chuckles. _

_'I'm so using this against her' she grins. Then her eyes go sad and I realize that she is fully aware of my family's history; of my history. _

_I drop my gaze back to the laptop, not wanting to see the pity in her eyes. _

_"Here comes the boy whose father never loved him then turned out to be an illegitimate son of a fling his mother has had and now he's the scar that will forever remind the husband of his wife's betrayal. Poor lad all he wanted was his father's approval but never received it" I always see it in the eyes of those who know of my past, in the eyes of my siblings, but I do not want to see it in Caroline's, too. The fact that Rebekah's told her the full story, or at least most of it, irritates me far more than I thought it would. _

_After a few seconds of silence, I get back to reading the first two lines of her paper. _

_'What's your major anyway? I mean have you ever been to college in the first place?' she suddenly asks. _

_'What's with the questions anyway?' I tease, raising an eyebrow at her. _

_'Just curious' she shrugs carelessly and I almost believe it. _

_I smirk 'Looks like someone is interested'_

_'Whatever' she rolls her eyes, scoffing 'Just read the goddamned shitty paper' she demands, averting her eyes to the blank TV screen. _

_'Well, I'd love to, sweetheart, but that seems to be impossible when you are so distracting' I say suggestively. _

_'Fine, then, I won't say a thing' unfortunately she misses the true meaning behind my sentence. _

_I just shake my head and resume reading the paper._

_'I just hope you're of any real help' she sighs. _

_For the next fifteen minutes we sit in silence while she shuffles through books and papers and I try my best to keep my attention to the paper despite the more than occasional diversion I have every few minutes as I contemplate her focused expressions. _

_'I feel like pizza' she suddenly says. _

_'Impressive' I say, ironically making an astonished face 'You've made it through fifteen minutes without talking' _

_'Shut up' she scolds, making a face 'I'm starving' _

_'So am I' I tease, even though I am not. _

_'Then we'll order pizza' she says picking up the phone. _

_'But I feel like Chinese' I whine playfully. _

_She gives me a glare that says I'm getting on her nerves and that only makes me chuckle 'Order Chinese when you get home' she snaps as she dials the number and I laugh 'I'm glad I amuse you' she shakes her head, putting the receiver on her ear. _

_'Hello' she starts the order_

_'By the way that paper of yours is terrible' I whisper, leaning in closer to her, teasing her away from the order. _

_She shoots me a warning glance, but, dare I say, my closeness catches her off-guard that she slightly gulps down. _

_My smile widens 'It's catastrophic, horrifying, impossibly disastrous,' I keep saying even though I do not mean it, her paper is rather good as a matter of fact, but I am enjoying her annoyed expression far too much 'completely boring, a major slu…' but she cuts me off, placing a finger on my lips and the touch spreads a tingling sensation on them that I lose my smile immediately. The look on her face tells me that her movement was so spontaneous for her eyes lock with mine in a shocked, slightly embarrassed manner, and her conversation on the phone comes to a sudden halt. _

_For a very long second we stare at each other intently. I can almost guarantee that she is thinking of exactly what I'm thinking. And all I can think of is leaning in and kissing those lips that seem the only thing my mind could think of. _

_'Yes, sorry' Caroline resumes talking on the phone suddenly, the urging of the man on the other side forcing her to break eye contact and remove her finger from my lips. I miss the tingling sensation at once. _

_And I hate that pizza guy more than anything._

**. . . **

There's a storm raging on in my mind through the whole night. Johnny and Stefan keep throwing jokes and play with each other while I force a smile or two every once in a while when Johnny acknowledges me, doing my best to hide my distress from him, but knowing surely how much I'm failing.

I cannot seem to wrap my mind around the newly found, not-so-shocking information about Caroline. My heart pounds uncontrollably fast at the mere notion of her being in danger, a heavy feeling weighing me down with the thought of my helplessness when it comes to helping her. So I sit in a corner and ponder the possibilities, genuinely appreciating Stefan's gesture of keeping Johnny as busy as he possibly can.

By the end of the night, I reach no conclusion. I have no hint. I have no clue. And I want to tear my hair out. The only thing that keeps me hoping is Rebekah telling me at some point.

I force myself to snap out of my self-pity, extreme-anxiety condition and go to tuck in Johnny.

He settles down in the bed comfortably, his eyelids already heavy with sleep.

'Daddy' he starts, just as I am about to turn off the table bedside lamp and stride out of the room.

'Yes' I turn around to face his sad expression.

'Why are you sad?' he asks softly.

'I'm not sad' I give him my best smile 'Why would you think that, buddy?' I lightly ask him.

_I'm doing such a terrible job at being a father, Goddammit!_

'Because you fought with Auntie Rebekah and then you didn't play with me and Uncle Stefan' he says sadly, almost shyly.

I sigh, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

'I'm not sad, I promise. Your Auntie and I sometimes disagree, but we don't fight' I quietly tell him.

'Daddy, Auntie Rebekah doesn't love me more than you because of the chocolate cake, I promise' he pleads 'Please don't stop talking to her'

'Oh' I chuckle 'Johnny, this has nothing to do with you'

'So why did you fight with her?'

I shake my head, genuinely amused by his innocence 'Sometimes grown-ups have fights, but that doesn't mean that it's anyone's fault or that they will not talk to each other. They always fix things'

'So you'll say sorry?' he hopefully asks.

'Yes' I smile at him.

'Please, daddy, don't fight with Auntie Rebekah. It makes you sad and I don't like that' he pleads. My heart aches between my ribs.

'OK' I smile at him.

'I love you, daddy' he says.

'I love you, too, Little Johnny'

Johnny wraps his little arms around my neck, and I realize just then that he is the best thing that's ever happened to me; even if it means having to deal with an angry Tatia for the rest of my life.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Now to the note I wanted to write, you guys should just know that Nik wasn't always like that, like cute with Johnny and stuff. Something changed him. Another thing you guys should know is that we'll know why Rebekah made that bizarre request from her brother. And I promise, if you stick around with me, everything will unfold, Klaus's history with his father and siblings, his "mischief" days, the time when he became suicidal *see chapter three for reference in a sentence there*,what happened between him and Tatia, and most importantly his story with Caroline will be shown in DETAILS. I know things are foggy, but I've decided that questions are the best thing in the first 10 chapters (And because I'm mean and love keeping my readers confused for as long as possible)**

**If you have anything you wanna ask find me on tumblr (lostheart95). My ask box is always opened (and always empty). And if you wanna fangirl about Klaroline, don't even think for a second before messaging me! **

**Gosh, I'm on a roll today. I'll just go take a nap now! **

**Byes! Love you guys (Like seriously) :D **


	5. Stand by Me

**HELLO EVERYONE! I know it took me a million years to upload this but I was extremely busy. Thank you for your patience. Anyways, I hope you like this one. I really enjoyed writing it. And lets just say that it has new information in it about Nik. **

**_IMPORTANT_: I'd like to point out that the flashback follow no particular order, but strictly relevant to the events in the present. However, you'll be able to place each event and flashback once the whole story is complete as well as identifying their places by indications of which happened before which. I'm sorry if this is confusing, but I want you guys to put the peices together instead of giving it to you on a silver platter and I hope it's more intriguing than plainly annoying. **

**ENJOY :D**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Stand by Me**

* * *

'You wanna tell me what that was all about?' Stefan begins investigating as soon as I stepped out of Johnny's room, using his serious tone.

I sigh 'I doubt I can give you anything of much help' is my vague mumble.

'What the hell does that supposed to mean?' he asks, raising his hands in the air.

'It means, Stefan, that I know almost as much as you do' my tone is impatient as I slump into the couch next to him, rubbing my face agitatedly. Stefan knows almost every aspect of my life. We have been friends since college, and it's not like I do not want to tell him as much as I don't feel like going through the subject again.

'Come on, Nik. Don't leave me hanging in here holding my breath' he jokes.

I roll my eyes 'It's about Caroline'

He looks a little taken aback, but not completely shocked since he knows that Caroline made an appearance back in our lives a few days earlier.

'What about her?' he asks cautiously, tone dead serious.

'You see, that's the problem. I've no clue' I huff exasperatedly 'I just know that she is in trouble, and that Rebekah is looking to help her'

He frowns 'What kind of help?'

'She wanted to contact The Five' I hesitantly tell him, watching as his face turns from confusion to shock to pure and utter fright, the same kind of emotions that stormed through me once Rebekah declared her request.

'What did she want to do with them? Why would she need them? Why would Caroline seek help there?' Stefan urges his voice going to a full blow of panic.

_Dear God, would you admit that you have a thing for my sister already? _

'I do not know, Stefan' I tell him hurriedly, cutting off his mess of questions 'That's what I've been trying to tell you. I don't know and it's driving me crazy. I've been pondering all the possibilities ever since Rebekah requested to contact them' I lean forward, clasping my hands tightly together as rest my elbows on my thighs.

'Why didn't she tell you?' his voice is frustrated.

'She said she couldn't, that Caroline didn't want her to' I lick my upper lip, recalling the last bit of our conversation.

A long moment of silence passes while Stefan ponders his thought and I go back to uselessly taking my brain for anything useful.

'You didn't tell her anything though, did you?' he finally asks 'I mean, you didn't tell Rebekah how to contact The Five, right?'

I gulp down, keeping my head down hanging in shame. What do I tell him? That I am that much of a pathetic man? That I agreed to drive my sister towards those monsters? Goddammit, what do I tell him? I, myself, can't understand how the hell I obliged and told her what she wanted to know.

'Nik' Stefan's voice is disbelieving 'You didn't tell her, right?'

I sigh, looking back at him meaningfully without uttering a syllable.

'You have got to be kidding me!' he spat 'For Christ sake, Nik, are you fucking crazy?' he yells

'Keep your voice down, Johnny's asleep' I hiss.

'I will _not _keep my voice down! You practically threw your sister to the filthiest least trustworthy people on the planet! What the fuck is wrong with you?' he continues to shout, rising to his feet.

'What else was I supposed to do, Stefan? She was the one who insisted on knowing how to contact them. She was the one practically begging me to tell her' I roar back, frustrated with myself as well as with him.

'Can't you see that this is what you've always done? You put everyone ahead of Rebekah just because you know she will always be there for you. I'm goddamn sure that when you knew it was for Caroline you didn't hesitate to tell her because it's your fucking lover who you screwed things up with and never got over it or her. And hell, it's just Rebekah, who the hell gives a damn what happens to her or if she's hurt while saving everyone's asses? You do that to her every time and I'd be damned to say that I know how the hell she puts up with your bullshit'

'And how do you put up with my bullshit?' I say through clenched jaw 'And since you are obviously her knight in shining armor, how the hell does she seem the one to want nothing to do with you?' rising to my feet as well.

'At least I'm not her own brother throwing her to the wolves!' he snaps.

'I did not throw her to anyone, you fool! She promised she wouldn't go alone. And it was her wish, I did not beg her to help Caroline. I would have far rather help her myself' I snap back at him, stepping forward and adding angrily under my breath 'So how about you stop making assumptions and meddling between me and my sister? What happens between the two of us is none of your business' I poke him on the chest to emphasis my point.

'Daddy' upon hearing Johnny's voice, I shut my eyes, cursing under my breath before turning around to his frightened face.

'Hey Johnny, what are you doing out of bed?' I try to say lightly, but my voice is slightly hoarse from all the shouting.

I jog towards him and scoop him up in my arms, sensing how close he is to tears. Why did everything bad decide to happen while Johnny's around? I have no clue, but the factor is increasingly irritating. The environment I am providing is not exactly healthy for a kid. And so help me God Tatia will never let me hear the end of it when she inevitably find out through the interrogation she puts Johnny through after every weekend he spends with me.

'Are you fighting with Uncle Stefan, now?' he asks as I put him back in bed.

'No, I'm not' I lie 'we're simply having an argument' I hope my smile is convincing enough 'Now, go back to sleep'

'But... 'He begins but I stop him.

'Don't tire yourself Johnny. Go back to sleep' I tuck him in and he complies with a profound sigh that makes me smile.

When I step out of the room, Stefan greets me with an apologetic face, but I still ignore him, heading straight to my bedroom instead.

'Is he OK?' He quietly asks

'Yes' I drily answer without stopping to look at him 'no thanks to you'

'Hey, Nik, I'm sorry' he sighs just as I swing the door of my room open 'I shouldn't have said what I said. I just got really pissed'

'That's alright' I nod, turning around to face him with a neutral mask.

'I know that things are different between you two now' he murmurs 'And I didn't really mean what I said'

He drops his gaze to the floor, putting his hands in his pockets.

'Do you have feelings for Rebekah, Stefan?' I ask him suddenly after a short moment of silence.

He looks up confused. I can tell that he's looking for an answer which is honest but would not upset me at the same time.

'It's OK if you do, Stefan' I encourage him, crossing my arms on my chest.

'I think I do' he sheepishly admits 'And I knew you wouldn't like that fact so I kept it to myself'

'But it isn't about me, you know' I tell him, keeping a composed voice. True, I'm not so fond of the idea that Stefan may make a move on Rebekah. He doesn't take relationships seriously, and she would fall in love with him far too easily, it'll inevitably break her heart 'Why wouldn't you tell her? I believe it's something you both want' as hard as it is to admit it, but I had no saying in what my sister decides should it ever come down to her wanting to be with Stefan.

'Nah' he shrugs off 'she can't stand me. It's better for it to stay like this'

'What makes you believe that, Stefan? Rebekah's had a crush on you for as long as I remember' I chuckle nervously.

'The fact that she finally realized how much of a dick I am' he jokes.

'You haven't exactly done anything to emphasis that point, though' I point out casually, shrugging.

I can almost see guilt all over his face before he averts his stare, shaking his head 'Yeah, well' he mutters.

'You haven't done anything that would upset her, right?' I ask skeptically.

'No' his tone is a tad too defensive 'I'm serious, Nik' he adds when he sees the suspicion all over my face.

'OK' I nod slowly, proceeding to my room.

'Oh and Nik' he stops me again 'you're really great with Johnny'

'Tatia begs to differ' I scoff.

'Screw Tatia' he rolls his eyes 'she's just pissed you didn't marry her'

**. . . **

_'So what exactly happened between you and Tatia?' Stefan asks , deliberately irritating me as he cocks his eyebrows defiantly. _

_'Yeah, Nik, tell us' Rebekah casually says as she sips from her white wine. _

_I roll my eyes 'I really don't wanna talk about it' _

_'What? You didn't tell us what happened!' Caroline protests raising an eyebrow at me. _

_I shoot her an angry glare. _

_'Gee, calm down' she mutters, bringing her glass of red wine to her lips; to her beautiful, inviting lips. It takes mighty strength for me to stop thinking of how much I want to be that glass in this moment. _

_'Seriously, Nik, you were….' Stefan starts, then stumbles, looking over at Rebekah for help. She smirks at him, quite clearly amused by his confusion '..good together' he finally concludes with "good" for obviously lack of better words. _

_'Good' I scoff 'We weren't even together' _

_'What does that supposed to mean?' she asks with a frown, involuntarily leaning closer on the table where she sits across of me. _

_'It means, Caroline, that we were never serious' I simply answer. _

_Rebekah sighs, shaking her head lightly 'So what? You had your fun and now it's time to move on to another woman, then?' _

_I wince at the accusation, knowing that it's partially true. _

_'If it's like that, I'll kill you' Caroline throws me a disgusted glance, before adding '_and I'll enjoy it_'_

_'Feisty' I purr between chuckles, leaning in closer as well so that our forearms are almost brushing against each other. _

_She rolls her eyes, but giggles all the same. All I can think about is how much I love the sound of her innocent giggles. There's something so pure and spontaneous about them, so delicate and heartwarming that they give me the urge to hold her in my arms for as long as I possibly can. A blush creeps its way to her cheeks when her eyes meet my stubbornly-present smile which quickly turns into a smirk upon seeing her reaction. I take my time contemplating every inch of her beautiful face as she smiles shyly but obviously flattered still. _

_'Stop flirting with Caroline and answer the question!' Rebekah scolds, alternating her gaze between the two of us, disbelief all over her gaze. _

_I clench my jaw. Would she drop the subject already? Besides, why did she have to cut the moment short? I was truly enjoying myself. From the corner of my eyes I see Stefan smirking which only makes me more upset. _

_'No, Rebekah' I drily start 'I did not throw her away after I had my fun like the little scum you paint me to be. She was the one who ruined it' _

_'What did she do?' Rebekah frown, ignoring my dry tone and the clear anger it holds. _

_I lick my upper lip, dropping my gaze to the table and staring intently on my glass. _

_'She told you that she loved you, didn't she?' Stefan finally concludes after a short moment of silence. _

_'Now that's stupid, Stefan' Caroline mocks 'I mean, why would he leave her if she loves him?' _

_No one breaks the silence, all waiting for me to affirm or shoot down Stefan's conclusion. I hate this. I hate it when they do this. I hate that they think they have the right to barge into my life and throw accusations. I hate that they think it's absolutely fine for them to write essays about my dysfunctional character and analyze it without even having the decency to be cryptic about it. It's nobody's business. If I want to ruin my life, then let me be! Who are you to deny me what I want? Why do they even pretend to care? And why do they have to talk about such subject in front of _Caroline_? She barely knows me. Who gave them the right to give her access to my life and hand me over to her on a silver platter? _

_'Right, Nik? It doesn't make any sense' Caroline urges doubtfully as my silence lasts for far too long for comfort. _

_I clench my jaw and my hands tighten around the glass where my gaze is still fixated on a point in its depth. _

_'Dear God, Nik!' Rebekah gasps 'You didn't! Why would you break her heart?' _

_I look up at her, anger ablaze in my eyes 'I didn't do anything. She's known all along that we were not serious. She agreed to us not being serious. She was the one who broke the rules by admitting her everlasting love to me!' I snap, the level of my tone slightly inappropriate for a public place 'Now _drop the subject_' _

_'Don't act like you didn't know that all along' Stefan objects 'But you still stayed and gave her hope!' he accuses. _

_'Says the jerk whose purpose in life is to manipulate women' I retort with a smirk. I can feel Caroline's gaze fixated on me but refuse to look at her, whether for fear of what I would see in her eyes or for sheer embarrassment? I do not know. _

_'I don't manipulate women' Stefan shoots me a sharp glance 'I simply don't let any relationship go for longer than two weeks and they know that beforehand. You, on the other hand, stayed with Tatia for almost two years, knowing full well how much she was head-over-heels in love with you. And let's not even go to the whole Elijah story' _

_Once that brought up, I shoot up to my feet, grabbing my jacket 'I did not give her hope, I never treated her any differently. She was the one who tangled herself in hope' I defend impatiently, sliding my arms into my sleeves, with every intention to leave. My eyes land on Caroline's face for the briefest moments to see confusion mingled with shock all over it, but I quickly avert my gaze. _

_'But still you ended things, instead of giving her a chance. Instead of giving a real relationship a chance' Rebekah interjects with disbelief and disappointment 'Come on, Nik, it's typically you to bail on…' _

_'Rebekah' my tone is more of a growl than a warning that cuts her short mid-sentence 'I'm not having any of this, anymore. Stop meddling in my business. Stop trying to find analysis for my behavior. Stop trying to fix me. This is who I am. This is what I want. Let me screw up my life and stop pretending like you give a damn if that happens' with that coldly said, I storm out of the bar banging the door shut loudly behind me._

* * *

The weekend is the most dreadful part of the week when Tyler is happy and satisfied with my behavior, let alone when he's still extremely and outrageously mad at me. He's has the habit of staying home around the clock after making every part of my body ache. Whether it is to further my pain or to simply keep me in check, I do not know. Either ways, I patiently wait for time to pass and stay silent while he taunts me.

Sometimes what makes living with Tyler such an excruciatingly agonizing job is not the physical pain that he's more than a little capable of inflicting, but rather the emotional and mental torment he puts me through. Over the course of two years, the only thing I've been hearing uttered to me is how worthless and pathetic I am, how I should be grateful that he so much as considered tolerating me and my stupidity thus far.

As much as I try to shrug off his words and completely ignore them, their claws dig deeply into my mind, arousing old insecurities and dark days of which I have never had the intention of reliving, but somehow, ended up forced to go through them with every ounce of strength left in my weak, thin, trembling body.

Dear God, how great it is to have the house empty of his face again.

Sighing ruefully, I go about my business around the house, busying myself as not to think about a certain subject….. Certain two subjects… certain three subjects. Nonetheless, my attempts are thrown out of the window when one the subjects I'm trying to avoid, knocks on my door with Starbucks Coffee and chocolate muffin in her hands.

'Rebekah!' I am delighted beyond belief all the same. Having someone to talk to freely again is such a welcomed luxury.

'Hey, Care' she cheerily starts, stepping into the house and walking to the living room like she owns the place.

I smile at the familiar gesture. Thankfully, the bulb in my cheek has gone down to be replaced by an ugly purple bruise that does not exactly hurt whenever I attempt to smile or to simply talk. Other parts still jolt with pain, though, at any sudden movement.

'So I brought your coffee black with two sugars and a chocolate muffin' she starts casually slumping to the couch and laying the bag on the table 'That's how I remember it. You still like it the same, right?'

'Yes' I answer, unable to keep myself from smiling as I collapse to the couch next to her 'I didn't think you'd remember'

'Don't be silly' she rolls her eyes 'I mean you still remember how I take my coffee. And say yes even if you don't'

I chuckle… almost giggle. It feels natural which is quite unfamiliar and strange 'I do remember actually, black, no sugar just a splash of milk' I also remember how Nik takes his coffee, which he doesn't. He's a tea person. I used to tease him about being so British in that particular aspect.

I shake my head lightly. _I will not think about him. _

'What's wrong?' Rebekah narrows her eyes, and stops extracting the muffin from the paper bag, alarmed at once.

'Nothing' I smile at her widely.

'How are you today?' she slowly asks, trying hard not to look closely at my bruise.

'Better' I briefly, and quietly, answer, picking up my cup of coffee. It tastes so good that it reminds me of how much I used to spend on Starbucks Coffee and how long it has been since I've had any of it.

'So…' she clears her throat after a long moment of silence, reaching into her bag 'I brought you this' she extracts a cell phone from her bag and hands it over to me.

'What's this, Rebekah?' I frown at her.

'It's not much' she starts 'Just for emergencies. You can keep it locked so it wouldn't ring and bring Tyler's attention to it. And I'm sure you can find a place to hide it' she puts it in my palm.

The phone is grey, small, and old, unlike any of the trendy, recent devices 'Why are you giving this to me?'

'Like I said: for emergencies. I have my number and Nik's installed in it already. I have your number saved with me, Nik doesn't, though, before you ask' she hurriedly explains 'And I did the math, if that pathetic excuse of a husband you have can track you down when you use your passport and social security number then you'll need a new identity. So I'm working o getting you a new one. I already have contact information to start working on that and we should get your new papers soon once I go over to their location tonight and you don't have to worry about the money. I'll only let you receive this month's paycheck from Nik and by then I'll have a decent amount of money to loan you' she exhales loudly once done, as though she wanted to get it all out of her system before I could interrupt her stream of thoughts.

Leaning forward and resting my elbows on my thighs as I stare on the cup of coffee which I'm holding, I let what she just said sink in. I almost can't believe what I'm hearing. A week ago I was completely alone in this suicidal mission, and now I have Rebekah pre-planning for my upcoming breaking free.

'I promise I didn't tell Nik' she emphasizes, taking my silence as a bad sign.

'Why are you doing this Rebekah?' I mutter, fumbling with the lid of the plastic cup.

'What do you mean?' I can sense the confusion in her voice, but refuse to look at her face, sliding forward so that my hair covers the sides of my face and hides it from her as well.

'Why are you going through the trouble of saving a lost cause?' I whisper, my breath catching in my throat.

'Caroline, you're not a lost cause' she says with a hint of humorless chuckle 'Why would you say that you are?'

'Because whoever you save will never be the same friend you once had. You're following a ghost' I swallow down the lump in my throat.

It's true. Only shattered pieces of what's left of me will make it out of Tyler's grasp alive, assuming that any of me could escape his grip altogether.

'I know that' her voice is broken, filled with suppressed sobs 'But you're my friend Caroline. No matter what happens, you are my friend. Even if you change, you need my help. And you know I would never turn my back on someone I care about when they need my help so much…' she trails off 'I'm actually quite disappointed that you'd think I wouldn't help you' her voice is sad and a pang of guilt immediately rushes through me.

'It's not that, Bex' I look up at her with tears in my eyes 'But I'm not worth your trouble. I've already told you that he would do anything to keep me tied to him, including hurting you. Why would you put yourself in danger?' despite myself, I feel tears trailing down my face.

'How could you say that, Caroline?' she asks, appalled by my statement 'You're not worthless! You're a victim here, Care, who refused to stay silent in her situation anymore. How can you say that you're not worth it?'

I lick my upper lip. _If I wasn't worthless, then maybe he would have been contented with me. Maybe I am the one forcing him to act the way he does. _I shake the idea off, shuddering. This is neurotic, insecure me talking.

'Besides, Caroline, he's just a cop not Dracula. We are not in some TV show with a villain that can kill everyone we love. This is not how the world works' she insists adding a bit of poison to her voice, the way she always talks once upset or extremely disappointed.

'I'm sorry' I murmur, my breath hitching in my throat 'It's just that I …' my sentence break as I seem incapable of completing it.

She gently puts a soothing hand on my shoulder 'Caroline, you don't have to be alone in this. I can help you, so let me help you' softly says Rebekah.

**. . . **

_I never really understood what it was like before. I've heard people talk about it. I've sympathized with those who suffered from it, but I never quite understood it. I never quite understood what it would feel like to be an orphan, what it would feel like to wake up one morning and realize that the two people who unconditionally and despite all loved you were no longer present in your life; that they paid their ticket out of this world. Somehow, I've convinced myself that you grow out of it; that losing your parents after you are a responsible adult would somehow ease the pain. But, gosh, how wrong I was. _

_It's only today this day that it all occurred to me. Today, as I stand listening to the idle prayers for my mother's soul, I realize that you never quite grow out of it. Even though the death of my father hit me harshly 12 years ago, when I was only a kid, this, somehow, in a very weird way feels far worst. There's this sudden feeling of loneliness and coldness overwhelming me. My heart feels heavy in my chest, weighing as much as a thousand rocks, pulling me down with it towards the ground. The muddy ground will embrace my mother's body in a few minutes, and my heart is trying to take me down with her. I feel like cuddling up against her like a five years old again, listen to her telling me bedtime stories and have pancakes with her the first thing in the morning. But that is all gone now... it's all gone and being surrounded with places that remind me of her on our hometown, makes all the nostalgia more prevailing over my disturbed mind. _

_Then comes the moment I dread most. Why do we have to see her dead face for the last time? I do not want to see my mother's lifeless, ice cold face before she is buried beneath the willow. Who made that rule? Who said that that's how we say goodbye to our loved ones? _

_The crowds drift away as they mutter their last words to my mother while I stay behind. It's my turn to see my mother for the last time and I almost leave, I almost turn around and leave the scene without ever looking back. My breath is caught in my throat, my heart beats are running wild and all I can think of is how much I really don't want to do this. _

_Then I feel him beside me, his hand sliding into mine in the most gentle of manner. I lean into him for support, tears escaping my eyes at once. _

_'I can't do this' I whisper between silent sobs. _

_'Yes, you can' he gently says pressing his lips to my hair. _

_'I don't want to do this' I tell him desperately. _

_'But you have to, sweetheart' he murmurs into my hair 'You have to say goodbye' _

_I choke on my tears and he squeezes my hand gently 'It's OK. I'm right here' he repeatedly whispers as I inch closer to her dead body. _

_'Oh God' is all I can gasp when I see her face pale, lips blue, no breath at all, not a single uttered word. It's strange how hollow she looks; like this body had never belonged to her 'She really is dead' I choke out. _

_Nik wraps an arm around my shoulders and I rest my head on his shoulder, using all the support he can possibly give me. How does he know when exactly I need him or what to say at the right time in the right place? I do not know. All I know is that he's been my anchor for the past couple of months, somewhat easing the pain, somehow making the whole process far easier with his mere presence beside me. _

_The last of our friends leave the house of my childhood, the house of which I know that as soon as I step out of, I would never set a foot in. only Rebekah, Stefan and Nik remain by the door, seeming at complete loss of what they should say. _

_'You did the right thing' Stefan clears his throat 'By burying her here. That's what she wanted' he shoots me a sympathetic look. _

_I give him a small smile. He approaches me slowly and gives me a firm, friendly hug before muttering 'I'm sorry for your loss, Caroline' and leaving. Rebekah steps forward and hugs me tightly, trying to keep her own tears at bay 'I'm sure she's in a better place, Care' she says between silent tears. _

_'Thank you, Bex' is all I manage to say as I hear my heart breaking. _

_'I'm sorry I have to leave for Christmas. I really want to stay but you know how it is' she apologizes for the billionth time._

_'It's OK. I understand' I murmur. Despite all, I don't feel the urge to be around people right at the moment. Yes, Christmas will be dreadful, but I don't think that Rebekah being there would somehow make it any less unbearable. _

_She darts out of the house, reluctantly breaking the hug. Halfway through the porch she turns around and gives a quizzical glance to Nik, who is still standing motionless behind me._

_'Go ahead. I'll follow you later' he tells his sister. _

_Gratitude overwhelms me at the thought of Nik staying behind for a while. Even though I claimed I would like to stay alone that did not include him in a way that I do not exactly understand. _

_Once Rebekah is out of sight, Nik steps forward and closes the door shut then slowly he approaches me. I throw myself into his warm, familiar embrace at once, inhaling his soothing scent that sends shivers down my spine. He does not hesitate to wrap his arms around me tightly as I burry my face in his chest and break into hysterical sobs. _

_'I was prepared for this for weeks now, Nik' my voice comes muffled and broken 'why does it shock all the same? I mean we knew it was coming. We saw it coming, but it hurts so much still. Why is that Nik?' _

_'Knowing is one thing, love' he soothingly starts, caressing my hair 'and experiencing is a whole other thing. It stays surreal until it actually hits you' _

_'My mother is dead, Nik. She's dead!' I burst out, choking on my words. _

_'I'm so sorry, Caroline' he gently whispers. _

_'The only person who would love me no matter what is dead, Nik, she's left. I am no one's little girl anymore' he tightens his grip around me then as I hide away in his arms. I am on the verge of panicking and, somehow, he notices this. _

_'Caroline, love, it's all going to be OK. I'm right here beside you, I promise I won't let anything happen to you' he softly utters against my hair. _

_I exhale and inhale in harmony with him, focusing on his steady breathing and heartbeats. It sooths me and my panic attack gradually fades away as he becomes my protective shield. Nothing matters except for his being there. For all I care, I can depend on this warm embrace for the rest of eternity. I can stay hidden away in his arms for the rest of my life, breathing in his scent and listening to his heart beating and his steady breath playing like the sweetest music of all. I can stay here, feeling his lips pressing to my hair, and his breath tickling the curls. _

_'Can you stay here tonight, Nik?' I shyly request 'I really don't wanna be alone in here' _

_'Of course, love' he agrees instantly. _

_'Thank you, Nik, for everything' _

_He only holds me tighter and we say nothing else. _

**. . . **_  
_

'How were you planning to get away anyway?' Rebekah's question pulls me out of one of the most bittersweet memories in my life.

Despite the overwhelming sadness the memory of this day brings, I can't help but torture myself with the recollection of his strong arms wrapped around me whenever I feel the need for comfort or protection. That particular moment has been increasingly on repeat in my head over the course of the last year I've spent with Tyler. Maybe it is just the extreme yearn for a comforting embrace that forces the memory into my head, besides the fact that I have never felt as safe as I have felt that moment in his arm.

Even after everything blew up in our faces, I still longed for moments like these. His embrace had always been what I missed the most about him.

Still, that could be the case just because it was the only memory that hadn't been completely tarnished.

'Caroline' Rebekah says again, bringing my attention to her.

'Yeah?' I look back at her calculating face.

'I asked you how you were planning on getting away from Tyler' she repeated the question with slight irritation in her voice.

'Umm' I begin absently then slowly add 'I was going to gather enough money to escape him and stay as far away as possible until I could manage a new identity for myself and disappear altogether' I clear my throat 'I know it's not the best plan, but it's my only option. And I would rather try than stay here. You know survival instinct and all' I chuckle humorlessly.

'Well, that's no longer your only option' she says with a small smile, braking the short moment of silence 'Now you have me to help you. And the plan is going to work out perfectly. I'll get you your fake papers as soon as possible, get you the money and help you disappear' then softly she adds 'You're no longer in this alone, Caroline. And I'd be damned if I let the fact that he has connections or can hurt me or whatever gets in the way of me helping you. Besides, _I_, too, happen to have connections and four siblings who are willing to bend over backwards for my help' she shrugs with a smirk.

'But you're not gonna tell anyone, are you?' I urgently ask, alarmed.

'No, Caroline, I won't' she rolls her eyes 'Until we need to bury him alive and dance on his grave'

'I forgot how dangerous you could be, Bex' I squint at her teasingly.

'Of course I am!' she says, offended by my lack of knowledge '_WE _are dangerous and feisty. We make those who come as close as a mile to hurting us regret the day they were born. And that's exactly what we will do with that Tyler boy' she smirks and I can't help but chuckle.

It feels like everything is back to normal when she rises to her feet, beaming 'Now, let's tell people how to stuff chicken with broccoli'

I roll my eyes, chuckling still.

* * *

**So, what did you guys think? Like it or not? Thoughts! Please share them :D **

**And, i'm sorry to say that updates are not going to be that much faster. I've got loads to worry about,. But my other story is almost over, so once that's over, I should have more time for this one :D**

**And Remember! You can find me at tumblr anytime (lostheart95)**

**KBYETHANKS **


	6. Hope for the Hopeless

**Hello everyone! I know I know I'm such a HORRIBLE person! It's been almost a month (or really a month) since I updated, but in all fairness I had my other story to wrap up and then I suffered with a little bit of writer's block and didn't want this to turn out crappy. Hopefully, I got my inspiration back to this story and I will update sooner :D **

**Thank you for your patience. Also, the first half of the chapter is from Rebekah's POV. I'm sorry if it bothers you but Nik and Caroline currently need a third party to have another perspective and when action is on her side I need to show it. Besides, she'll proved us with important info this chapter *wink wink* Also, I know this is long, but oh well, words vomit! **

**OK, off with my rant :D Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Hope for the Hopeless**

* * *

_'You wanna tell me what that was all about?' Caroline asks. Weirdly enough, she was able to hold back her questions about the evening's latest events until we arrived back at the apartment._

_In all honesty, Stefan and I had not meant for the conversation about Tatia to turn into such a disturbing argument with Nik, as always, storming out of the place. I could see it in Stefan's eyes that when he asked he only meant to tease him, albeit that it was not exactly the rightful time to do such thing, a fact that only occurred to me after the damage was done. Of course, I should have expected Nik to be infuriated with our intervention, even more so with the fact that Caroline was there, who he was, obviously, attracted to, and she, too, was attracted to him. _

_Despite my disliking to this fact, I cannot deny that their demeanor seems to shift around each other, especially with Nik. It is like Caroline can fire a spark in his eyes that I have not seen in what seems to be an eternity even though they are practical strangers. _

_However, I know better than to lead either of them on into a relationship that can only end tragically just for the simple fact that my brother would be a part of it. _

_'Which part exactly are you talking about?' I try to joke, but Caroline only glares at me. I sigh._

_'Look, Bex, I understand if you don't want to tell me about your brother's life. I mean it's his business after all.' She starts as a matter-of-factly 'but you keep warning me from leading myself on with this attraction we have,' I start to protest but she holds up a finger 'which we do and you know it, and I have a feeling that your warnings have everything to do with what happened tonight' _

_'Not _everything_' I mutter, leaning forward in my seat and trying to stop the flood of unlikable memories. I was only sixteen back then, when I realized that I might lose my brother because he, himself, decided he no longer wanted to live…just thinking about it makes the fear build-up within me again. Of course, I was not meant to know anything about it being other than an accident, but I overheard Elijah talking with Fin about putting him through therapy. And I was not young enough to misunderstand that. _

_I shake my head frantically, not wanting to remember that it all went back to that dreadful day no matter how many years passed. _

_'Mostly everything' I say after a long moment of silence. _

_'What do you mean?' Caroline asks, shifting in her seat so that she, too, was sitting at the edge. Even though I can't see her face, I know that she would be frowning worriedly at my unnerved expression. Unlike my brother, I have no ability at all to block away my emotions from my face. _

_'Nik comes with a lot of…baggage' I say for lack of a better word 'His life has been so complicated up to this point' _

_Caroline is silent, waiting for me to continue. _

_'He's too high maintenance, Caroline, being with him can tear you apart. What you saw today was nothing but a taste of who he really is. He's too closed up in his own mind, Caroline. He doesn't open up to anyone. I mean, you saw what he did with Tatia' I huff. _

_'I thought you didn't like Tatia' Caroline raises her eyebrows at me. _

_'It's not a matter of me liking her or not, it's a matter of me wanting Nik to be happy. Nik is twenty seven and he never had one stable, serious, healthy relationship'_

_'Rebekah we're not in the 12__th__ century anymore!' she chuckles 'no one commits at a young age!'_

_'I'm not saying that he has to commit' I roll my eyes 'I'm saying that he doesn't even allow himself to open up enough for anyone to get to know him. He doesn't trust anyone enough to do that' I lower my gaze to the floor 'not even me.' involuntarily, the words come out in whispers 'And what he did with Tatia was typical him. It's like just as he realized things might get serious, he ran away. It's like his thing. He is too afraid to love even though he craves it more than anything' _

_'Wow' she says jokingly upon noting the bitterness in my words 'sounds like a lot to take in.'_

_'Yeah' I nod looking back at her 'but I can't really say I don't understand where he's coming from.' _

_'OK. How about you help me understand where you are coming from' she tilts her head to the side, giving me that inquisitive stare. _

_'Nik comes with a lot of baggage' I say neutrally. _

_'You already said that. And we all come with a lot of baggage' Caroline says, unconvinced. _

_'Yeah' I sigh 'but multiply anyone's baggage in ten times and you have Nik's' I lean back in my seat, gnawing at my inner gums. What do I tell her? From where shall I start? I don't even know if I should start in the first place. This is my brother's life after all, even if she is my best friend I have no right to just give her full access to it, especially when I know how sensitive he is about it. _

_'Look, Bex' Caroline starts, as though sensing my inner struggle 'I don't need the full story. I know it comes with a lot of family drama, but if you want me convinced about this whole not getting involved with him you have to give me a solid reason here' _

_'He doesn't want to commit, Care, isn't that a good enough of a reason?' I mutter irritated. _

_'Nope' she shakes her head 'Who says I want anything serious?' her voice carries a hint of mischief. _

_'Hey' I slap her forearm playfully 'he's still my brother. I don't want to know that he attracts you in _that _way' _

_'What did you think I meant by attraction other than "I wanna jump his bones"' she winks. _

_'Girl has no classy taste' I make a face. _

_'Shut up' she rolls her eyes 'But seriously, your brother can't be a manipulative bastard' _

_'No, he's not.' I say, my chuckles dying out 'Not the manipulative part anyway' _

_'What?' she practically shrieks. _

_I shake my head frantically, adjusting my position so that I am fully facing her 'Look, I will tell you the story. But you have to promise that you won't tell anyone. Nor let Nik even _think_ that you know it' _

_'OK. I promise' she raises her hand in a vowing manner 'Now tell me!' she insists, kicking off her shoes and tucking her feet under her as though I am about to tell her a bedtime story. _

_'Well, there's really not so much to tell' I start 'Bottom line is that Nik is not my father's son. Mother was unfaithful and Nik was a result of her betrayal. Of course, Nik did not find out until he was eighteen and that crushed him. Father had never had any tolerance towards him and he made sure to remind him of the fact that he was in a family he did not belong to, seeking home somewhere he shouldn't. Father was very hurt with mother's betrayal and he lashed out on the wrong person' _

_'Oh God' she mutters, sadness written all over her face 'How did he find out?' _

_'Our lovely father Mikeal spat it in his face' I sarcastically answer as a flashback of that dreadful night hits me 'Literally' a moment of silence passes and I contemplate whether to tell her the full story or not 'That' night..' I decide to tell her 'Nik got accepted into Oxford, he was going to study for some arts major. Of course when mom heard she was delighted and they went on to tell father. Nik had the hope that maybe Mikeal would finally smile at him or bother to tell him words of encouragement. But all Mikeal did was to tell him to go and work his butt off to earn the fees for college. Of course that would not have been a problem if Mikeal only had the intention of making him a better man, but he was working to humiliate him.' I pause, sighing 'I was standing behind the door, only fourteen and hoping with every cell in my body that my brother's misery would somehow end, that Mikeal would be kind to him for once. But I still remember what he said' despite myself, I feel a tear trickling down my face, my throat tightening 'Nik told him that he would only need help with the first payment, then he will get a job and pay him back that he did not need him. He was furious, of course, but I could hear the hurt in his voice "I was so foolish to think that for once in your life you would be my father. How come you seem the only one to slam the door shut in my face no matter how hard I try to make you proud? All I want is to feel just for once that you are my father" he was saying. And that was when Mikeal thundered at him that he had no right to feel like he was his father, because he wasn't.' heavy silence fills the room, the only thing breaking it is my heavy trembling breaths. The memory of that night ignites such sadness in my heart. That night marked the end of my family. Nothing was ever the same after it, not Nik, not my siblings, not my mother or even my father. Mikeal never seemed to regret his decision to taunt Nik quite so grudgingly, in fact he seemed to relish in watching him pained and lost, he seemed to enjoy watching him go through hell and never quite come back. The sight of Nik's deteriorating life seemed to delight him, an evil spark occupied his eyes that frightened me from ever approaching him and made me cling into my favorite brother, begging him to gather the small remaining pieces of his self and build his life again. That never happened._

_'So you're saying that your father knew that Nik wasn't his son all along?' Caroline mutters her question, her expression a mortified one. _

_'Yes' I nod 'That is probably why he was so unkind to him from the very beginning. But considering our privileged position, did not want to put our family through a scandal and let mother raise him with us. I guess they were hoping that my birth would somehow make up for what happened between them' I swallow loudly 'But Mikeal never took it out on mother, seeking to destroy Nik's life as a way to avenge his wounded pride. And what hurt Nik the most was my mother's behavior after that incident. She did not help him, she felt too guilty to stand up to Mikeal and Nik paid the price as she let Mikeal verbally abuse him'_

_Caroline swallows loudly, dropping her gaze to her hands where they lay in her lap. _

_'I think the breaking point for Nik was when he sought out his biological father and the latter just shut the door in his face, telling him that his wife did not know of such an affair and that he had a family and a life and did not want him to ruin it. He told him that he could help him with money if he needed any, if he just promised to stay as far away from him as possible. Nik said that his father told him that he was a mistake of which he would do anything to take back. And Nik was never the same' my voice drops to a whisper gradually. _

_'You mean he turned uptight, guarded, afraid to open up and unwilling to commit' she calmly concludes. _

_'Yes' is the only thing I manage to say. _

_'Well, I don't wanna marry the guy' she lightly says after a long moment of silence. _

_'Goddammit Caroline' I roll my eyes 'you may not have the intention to do that now, but you will fall for him and it will break your heart at the end when he inevitably slams the door shut in your face once things get too serious for his taste! Just like he did with Tatia' I reason, waving my hands in the air urgently. _

_'Who said that I'll fall in love with him?' she protests. _

_'The fact that he is broken and this sort of thing attracts you' I say frankly 'you think that you can fix him' _

_'Maybe I can' she says, the gleam of sympathy all over her face. _

_'Good God, Caroline, I told you. You get attracted to damaged people easily!' _

_'Says the girl who had been head-over-heels in love with Stefan Salvatore since the dawn of time' she mocks. _

_I glare at her. _

_'My point is, Bex' she starts after a profound sigh 'that we are all attracted to broken people, because even though we know better, we hope that we could be their savior' _

_'You're too young to handle Nik's baggage, Care' is my last reasoning. _

_'Age is just a number, Bex'_

**. . . **_  
_

'Sorry I'm late' Stefan says as he climbs into the passenger seat 'Nik wouldn't stop talking about how careful we should be'

I chuckle 'Well, he has a very short list of people he actually cares about and the life of three of them is on the line here'

'Tell me about it' he casually starts as he fastens his seat belt 'I kept ignoring the drinks he offered just in case he would sedate me then take my place on this dreadful trip'

'I wouldn't say that it is beyond him' I joke, starting the car.

'Let's just get this thing over with' he sighs.

A moment of silence passes while I drive silently and fidget uncomfortably in my seat. I can feel his eyes on me, boring through my profile as though trying to seek the most intimate parts of my soul, trying to read my mind.

And my stomach turns at the effect of having his gaze too fixated on my face.

I am not sure if I like the feeling.

'What made you come on that dreadful trip, anyway?' I ask him casually, trying to break the intense silence.

'I didn't want you to go alone' he calmly says 'it's too dangerous. And I couldn't risk having you take anyone else.'

'I see' I nod slightly, not diverting my stare from the street.

'Besides' he adds hesitantly 'I think I owe you after being such a jackass'

I scoff 'Yeah. You definitely do' from the corner of my eyes I watch him shift his gaze to look through the window this time.

'So why are we doing this anyway?' he changes the subject.

'I told you' I huff impatiently 'we are doing this for Caroline'

'I know that.' Stefan slowly says 'but I don't know why we are doing this for Caroline. She's never been one to get into trouble that need us to take an action like this one' he points out.

'People change, Stefan' my tone is sharper than I intended.

'OK. I can see that you are not interested in talking to me' he says neutrally.

'It's not personal, Stefan' I sigh 'Look, I would've told you. Trust me, I would. I am dying to let it off my chest, but Nik can't know and you really don't want to go through the trouble of having to keep it away from him. You guys tell each other everything….'

'Like a married couple' he finishes my sentence sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

'You are!' I protest between chuckles 'You really don't want to have this dumped on your shoulders and Caroline made me promise that I would not drag Nik into this.'

He shakes his head silently, a small smile gracing his fine lips.

I snap my head back to the road, distracting myself from my own thoughts.

'I think what you're doing is really great, Bex,' he breaks the short moment of silence 'looking out for your friend like that'

'You would've done the same thing for Nik' I reply with a shrug.

'Nah. It's too much trouble. He's not worth my time' he jokes.

'We both know that's not true' I calmly say with a smile tugging at my lips.

The address does not look the least bit as dreary as I thought it would. On the contrary, the place looks quite decent. The long building stretched on that I had to lift my eyes to fully see it, giving the impression of lined-up firms in it or luxurious apartment that everyone wished to occupy.

'That doesn't look so bad' I tell Stefan as he stands silently beside me.

'Well, you know what they say. Don't let looks fool you.' he scoffs.

'Indeed' I sigh.

I pace hurriedly towards the entrance ignoring the loud thuds of my heart that pierce my ear drums.

'Rebekah wait' Stefan catches up and lightly spins me around to face him. 'Let me handle the talking' he sighs.

'And why would I do that?' I cross my arms over my chest.

'Because I know these guys and I know how to handle them. You know I've done that before' he simply explains.

'Fine, but I am coming with you' I insist.

'What are you kidding me? Of course you are! Who else would protect my sorry ass' he grins.

'Oh please stop being cute' I scoff.

'I'll stop if you stop' his grin turns into a smirk.

'Let's just go' I roll my eyes, proceeding to the entrance.

The lobby looks as extravagant as a hotel lobby that I start questioning whether we are at the right address.

'It's OK' Stefan encourages as though sensing my hesitation.

I nod silently and head towards the brunette receptionist.

'Hi' I smile slightly at her.

'Good evening. May I help you?' she hurriedly greets without bothering to even smile or look up at us.

'I am looking for Mr. Conner' I hesitantly say ignoring Stefan's earlier statement and that seems to peek her interest for her head immediately snaps up to look at me 'I was told I could find him here' I add uncertainly.

'Do you have an appointment?' she asks glaring daggers through me.

'No' I mutter.

'The work we are doing does not require appointments' Stefan interjects and it's like he's said the magic words. The receptionist nods quickly, dialing a number on the phone. She holds the receiver for a while then hangs up without uttering a word to the other side. I frown, looking over at Stefan who simply shrugs.

A few moments later, a man appears. Well, he's more like a building himself rather than a man. He is dressed in a black suit with sunglasses even though we are at night. He doesn't so much as crack a smile or twitch his lips, nodding his head towards us and walking towards the elevator.

I gulp down and Stefan places a hand at the small of my back, soothingly keeping little distance between us. I feel like I'm a lamb heading to my own slaughter as we ride in the elevator which goes downwards rather than upwards much to my surprise. The space is scarce that I have to be closer to the bodyguard or whoever that guy is than I would have liked and I instinctively retract back towards Stefan.

'Don't worry' he whispers in my ear 'I'm right here'

'I thought it was a myth for bodyguards to wear glasses' I whisper back to him.

He cracks a chuckle which he swallows when the man's head snaps towards us. I can feel fire streaming from his eyes through his dark sunglasses and we both drop our gaze to the floor again.

After what seems to be an eternity the elevator dings and opens its doors to reveal a darkened corridor that ends with a single door which he leads us through. I find myself standing in a gigantic, posh office that doesn't look the least bit like what I imagined it to be. I thought it would be small and dirty and filled with rats.

'Stefan Salvatore' a deep voice comes from the corner where a black man was pouring a drink 'I never expected to see you again' his eyes flashes to me. I don't like their hawk-like gaze 'and I certainly didn't expect to see Klaus's sister with you'

My eyes widen, needing a moment to clench my jaw as not for it to drop. Stefan gently squeezes my forearm, telling me to let it slide. Still, it's a little unnerving to know that such a man has had knowledge of my existence all along.

'Don't look so shocked, Miss Mikealson' Conner says, tilting his head at me 'I know a lot of things about all my clients. You know, just to be safe' his lips break into an obnoxious smile.

I open my mouth to speak, but Stefan's hand tightens around my forearm.

_''Let me do the talking'' _and maybe he should.

'So what can I do for you?' Conner asks, addressing Stefan.

'We need papers' Stefan says simply 'As fast as possible'

'How many?' Conner goes around his desk, seeming ready to get down to business, and extracts a pen and paper.

'A lot' Stefan explains, coming closer to the wooden desk.

'So you want the full package?' Conner raises his eyebrows 'You know that's too expensive for you to pay for'

'I'm paying' I blurt out. I can _feel_ Stefan rolling his eyes.

'Of course you will' Conner says, looking over at me with his hawk-like glare. I grit my teeth involuntarily, whether it is for fear of him or simple disgust, I don't know, but his presence is so unnerving and he acts like he knows that fact.

'It doesn't matter who will pay' Stefan interjects 'we just need the job done. It's never mattered to you before, it shouldn't matter to you now'

'Fair enough' Conner shrugs 'You got a picture for the person in question'

Stefan looks over at me, and I react by extracting one picture that Caroline gave me when I told her about the plan. She gave me the picture with an awful lot of apologies.

Conner takes the picture and contemplates it for far too long for my taste. It is not a personal one, in fact I think it is the same as the one Caroline has on her passport which she made when she was around 21, but the way he stares at it gives me an unsettling feeling that I want to pry it from his hands.

He suddenly frowns and reaches for the phone, pushes three buttons on it and speaks to the receiver 'Strider get down here' then hangs up. I look over at Stefan to see a frown forming on his face as well. That only adds to my distress. A couple of moments pass before a man dressed handsomely in a suit steps into the office, I assume he's Strider.

'What's up, boss?' he asks, approaching the desk.

Conner hands him the picture 'Have you seen this girl anywhere before?' for some absurd reason his dangerous eyes land on me.

'Hell yeah, sir' Strider says almost cheerfully 'That's Tyler Lockwood's wife'

I swallow loudly, suddenly aware of the drumming sounds of my heartbeats. The last thing I need is for them to have anything to do with Tyler; even worst for them to be working for him.

'Why would Tyler Lockwood's wife need a set of brand new papers, Strider?' Conner's voice is dangerously calculative. I feel sweat beads on my forehead, retracting closer to Stefan who seems confused as hell.

'I don't know, sir' Strider shrugs 'maybe she needs to get away from him?'

'Exactly' Conner nods with a smile 'Now tell me Miss Mikealson, why are you helping Mrs. Lockwood to escape her husband?'

'Tell me how do you know Tyler Lockwood' I retort, surprised by the steadiness of my voice. Stefan hisses under his breath disapprovingly.

'You can't answer the question with another' Conner sarcastically says.

'The question you asked is none of your business. I, however, need to know that the job will be done without Tyler Lockwood's intervention or knowledge' I cross my arms over my chest, faking confidence I do not quite feel.

'She's tough' Strider chuckles.

'Indeed' Conner nods 'Well, Miss Mikealson, to answer your question, Tyler Lockwood's been on our trail for two years now which led us to becoming more careful. He would exhaust every way possible to catch us. That's why we know all about him and his little wife'

'Although digging about his wife was difficult' Strider volunteers 'She used to be seen with him in public appearances before their marriage more than after it. It was like suddenly she disappeared except for the occasional cocktail parties in his parents' house and she didn't attend the last two, either'

_Of course she wouldn't attend. The guy leaves her with bruises all over her body. How can she set foot outside her house?_

I shake my head lightly, as though to stop my thoughts 'It doesn't matter why she needs them. It just matters that she does'

'Well,' Conner starts, leaning in on his desk and linking his hands together 'on one hand getting personally involved in Tyler Lockwood's life may not be the best idea. The guy is some sort of big shot'

I roll my eyes, having heard that far too many times. Who the hell gives a damn about his position? For some reason, I can't be intimidated by him.

'Yeah' Strider confirms 'his dad has connections and shit like that, you wouldn't exactly want to get on their bad side, especially with them breathing down our necks already'

'On the other hand' Conner continues 'Tyler Lockwood's been such a pain in the ass for the past while. It's very tempting to be able to get back at him'

'Why are you just assuming that his wife is leaving him?' I try to sound nonchalant, but my tone betrays me, showing my edginess.

'it's a no brainer, Miss Mikealson' he shrugs 'I've been in this business for ten years now, and I've never seen a single person who wants a completely fake personality unless they were running away from someone. Now if she was involved in some dangerous operation or if her life is in danger because of some creep who is after Tyler, you wouldn't be here. Her husband would have found a way to keep her safe, and it would not have included you and Mr. Salvatore coming here and asking for my help' he simply says 'But you coming here, gives me every right to believe that she is running away from her husband.'

'And her running away like that also means that he is not exactly going to take it well.' Strider points out.

'But she is smart. You can't disappear from Tyler just like that. You need to be dead and reborn into someone completely different'

I gulp down. This is too many information for Stefan to hear and for them to know. And the twinkle in Conner's eyes tells me that he knows exactly why she needs to run away which does not help the least bit in giving me comfort. I glance at Stefan. His eyes are bewildered and filled with endless questions.

Maybe I should not have brought him.

'Don't worry, Miss Mikealson. Your secret is perfectly safe with me' he smiles cynically 'Come pick up your papers in three weeks'

'What?' I practically shriek 'That won't do, we need them faster'

'There's a long queue, Miss' he impatiently says 'Besides, accuracy is highly wanted in this case. Something tells me that if they are caught to be fake...'

'Which never happened before' Strider comments casually.

'Lives will be hanging at the balance'

My question hangs in the air and my eyes reflect it.

_How do you know so much? _They ask.

_Oh I know so much more than you do_ his own eyes reply with that devious smile that could be rendered as idiotic as well as intimidating.

'Is there any way you can finish them earlier?' I quietly ask, not wanting to resolve to desperation.

'The fastest I can is in two weeks' he points out 'but you can't afford it'

'Yeah, not anymore' Strider chuckles.

They cannot possibly know about the fallout in my family and how Nik and I are practically banned from any money that Elijah had to secretly slip it to me so Mikeal would not notice.

'How much?' I insist.

'Rebekah...' Stefan starts, finally snapping out of his frenzy and seeming eager to leave the place behind him.

'How much?' I insist.

'Double' Conner simply says.

I gulp down, cursing under my breath. The sum of money wanted is large enough and doubling it is an almost impossible task.

'I'll see you in three weeks, Miss Mikealson' Conner gestures with his hand for us to leave. And the bodyguard who accompanied us when we arrived and stood as still as a marble statue during our encounter with his boss, leads us back outside.

I know that Stefan suspects something and his suspicions are probably headed to the right direction, but he doesn't ask. Whether for fear that his suspicions would be confirmed or for the mere fact that he doesn't want to know, I can't guess.

Either ways, we drive back home silently.

* * *

_He is so handsome and suddenly that fact is the only thing I can think about. My eyes wander from his curls, to his eyes, his nose, his subtle and those full lips, noting how they seemed a shade redder than anyone else's and how soft and warm they feel against my finger pressed to them. If asked why I made my last movements, I would not know how to answer. Although the movement was mostly involuntary, another part of me just itched to have any excuse to graze those lips, even if I did not graze them with mine. _

_And for a second there, I imagine myself leaning in, dumping the phone and crushing my lips to his, feel their warmth on mine and relish in their taste. And even though I'm far too distracted to look into his eyes, I can feel them burning with the same desire, I can feel them glued to my face like half an hour ago when I saw something that resembled lust flashing through his blue eyes as they locked to mine. I almost wanted him to give in to whatever thought he was having that moment. _

_I almost give in to the desire that is building up in me this moment. _

_'Excuse me, Miss, are you still there?' I hear the irritated voice on the other end of the phone and my blissful contemplation is interrupted. _

_'Yes, sorry' I return my attention to the phone call, resuming the order. _

_There's no further discussion about the earlier incidence. And as the pizza arrives we sit silently at the table, while he pushes his food around and I eat the pizza guiltlessly._

_'I thought you were hungry' I start playfully, finishing my piece of pizza. _

_'Yes, I am. But I wanted Chinese. Now I'm going to starve and you have only yourself to blame' he firmly says. _

_'You're not gonna starve' I roll my eyes 'Stop whining' _

_'Well, I am doing you a favor, the least you could have done was to not let me starve' he says frankly. _

_'Yeah, you are such a savior to humanity, aren't you?' I scoff. _

_He grins, clearly amused by my attitude. _

_'Stop grinning at everything I say!' I scold._

_'It's really difficult, love' he admits with a wink. _

_'And stop calling me that!' I object. _

_'Okay, _Caroline_' he teases. _

_'Why did you decide to help me anyway?' I blurt out before I can stop myself. _

Oh crap! Not the time for babbly mode now!

_'Because you're beautiful' he casually says. _

_'And you're hoping to get in my pants' I babble out again, then press my lips in a tight line. _

_'I didn't say that' he raises his eyebrows. _

_'Then how else should I translate your explanation?' I cross my arms on my chest. _

_'Hmm' he starts thoughtfully, squinting his eyes and averting his gaze 'Maybe it's because I hate to see someone so breathtakingly beautiful suffer' he points out 'And I'm a very sensitive man' he grins. _

_'Of course, you are' I grin back 'Well, I wasn't gonna die of desperation, you know' I shrug. _

_'I couldn't take any chances' he firmly says 'Just the slight thought of such a beautiful woman suffering hurts' _

_'Seriously, stop flirting with me' _because your sister isn't home and you're hot and all I can think about is kissing you so hard until we both can't breathe. _I shrug my thoughts away. _

_Rebekah's warning rings in my ears as our eyes lock together again. His grin is still apparent and his dimples wink at me, everything about him is inviting me in, but for some reason kissing him is not what I can think about for my eyes catch something in his blue eyes. I catch a faint sparkle of pain in them, it's very faint that it could be easily missed but for some reason it stands out that moment, despite his grin and the obvious joyous mood he is in. For how long did I keep staring into his eyes? I don't know, but when he drops his gaze, he sighs. My transparent face gave me away, clearly. _

_'Go ahead, Caroline' he groans 'say it' _

_'Say what?' I frown. _

_'I know you want to talk about last night, Caroline' he says a bit too drily for my taste. _

_'What happened last night?' I try to joke. He shoots me an irritated glance that makes me sigh. Last night in the bar Nik practically had an outburst that I did not understand to be anything other than old insecurities surfacing and a false accusation that Rebekah and Stefan do not care about him. _

_'You think I'm a selfish bastard that's why you are stopping yourself from kissing me as soon as you begin to contemplate the idea' he starts, his tone angrier than I thought it would be 'Which is fine really, because _I am _a selfish bastard' _

_'No you're not!' I snap 'and even if you are I don't think so. At least up until the last minute I didn't think so. Besides you were the one who wouldn't kiss me even though you wanted to' _

_'Well, excuse me if I don't like being rejected' he retorts. _

_'Who said that I would have rejected you?' I ask raising my hands in the air and shooting up from my chair, unable to stay seated for some reason. _

_'I don't know would you have?' he sharply says, standing up as well._

_'No' I blurt out, crossing my arms over my chest. _

_'Fine' he says firmly and before I know it his lips are crushing mine. _

_At first, I'm taken aback by the suddenness of the movement, but soon enough, I melt into him and respond. My hands go around his neck, pulling him closer to me, as his hands wander to my waist, holding on tightly. There's nothing gentle about the kiss, in fact, it is bruising. His warm lips mercilessly devour mine. His movements are urgent as he traces his tongue along my bottom lip, demanding entrance which I am happy to provide. The feeling of his closeness is so electric that I can hear fireworks going off somewhere in the distance. It's so overwhelming that a tingling sensation mixed with extreme warmth travels across my body, urging me to pull him closer as I entangle my hands in his hair, pulling at it and I think a moan escapes my mouth. He grunts, pulling away ever so slightly so we can both breathe before I quickly attacked his luscious lips again. I can't seem to be able to get over the shock of their softness, or their wonderful taste or the skillful way they move along with my mouth as his tongue darts in and out of my mouth, taking his time to feel every part of me as he presses his body to mine, his grip around my waist tightening._

_'Care, I brought pi…' It's only when Rebekah lets out a horrid screech that I realize she is home. _

_Nik immediately stops his urgent kisses as we turn back to face Rebekah's wide-eyes and hung-opened mouth. I gulp down; trying to control my short pants as he slowly releases me from his embrace. My body aches for his arms wrapped around me instantly. _

_'H-iii' I nervously greet Rebekah who is still standing by the door with a shocked expression and a box of pizza 'how was your studying?' I slowly ask her, as my fists clench at my side. _

_Her eyes are screaming "what the fuck did we talk about last night?'' as her gaze alternates between me and her brother. I admit it; catching me kissing the hell out of her brother is not something particularly delightful so I drop my gaze to the floor. _

_'I think I'm just gonna leave you to finish that paper of yours' Nik clears his throat, proceeding to the door. He brushes past his sister who is still standing frozen by the door. He leaves without uttering a word. _

_'Stop that!' Rebekah snaps when her brother is no longer in the room. _

_'What?' I ask, looking up at her. _

_'That!' she points to my face and it's only then when I realize that my hand has gone up to my lips, tracing the lines where he was kissing me so fiercely and oh so passionately. I don't think I was ever kissed like that before._

_'Oh' I mouth, dropping my hand back to my side. _

_She keeps eyeing me for thirty good seconds before I roll my eyes 'Let's hear it'._

_'I thought I told you not to get involved with Nik' she scolds, entering the apartment and shutting the door behind her as she dumps the pizza box on the table next to the other unfinished one. _

_'And I thought I said that I didn't care about his past!' I smirk. _

_'God, Caroline!' she dramatically throws her hands in the air 'This look on your face is like someone who is totally smitten!' _

_'It's not!' I protest 'It's the look of someone who had just experienced the best kiss ever!' _

_'I don't want to hear that!' she grimaces. _

_'Sorry' I mutter 'but really, Bex, you are freaking out for no reason' I shrug. _

_'Fine' she snaps 'Do whatever the hell you want, Caroline, but leave me out of it. And once this whole thing comes down on you, don't come crying to me' _

_'So I have the permission to sleep with your brother?' I tease, jumping in my place. _

_'Caroline!' she scolds, sharply turning to me. _

_'OK, OK I get it. I won't let you get into it and won't come crying about my broken heart, promise' I giggle and she shakes her head silently._

**. . . **

An increasing urge to hear his voice is building up. My thumbs fumble with the buttons of my cell phone as I stare at his name on the screen. No harm can be done from my call; he does not even know my number. He doesn't need to know that I am calling him. I just need to hear his voice. Having him near me before when I panicked was so comforting, so reassuring, and maybe, just maybe, hearing his voice can calm me down until his sister arrives.

My heart is pounding in my chest I can almost feel it jumping out of my ribs. Fear is soaking through me and my breathing is hitching in my throat. I need anything, absolutely _anything _to calm me down.

Without further hesitation, I pressed the call button and pressed the phone to my ear. All I need is to hear his deep, warm voice dripping with that sexy accent. It's all I need. It's all I want.

'Hello' hearing his voice sends shivers down my spine.

I stop breathing, everything stills as I pray that he would say anything else.

'Hello?' he says again 'Can I help you?'

I want to tell him a million things. I want to tell him that I miss him. I want to tell him that I can't stop thinking about him. I want to tell him that ever since I saw him a few weeks ago he's been all I can think of. I want to know how he is doing. I want to know what he's been doing the past a few years, did he take responsibility for his son? Is he still the same? Is he still the same charming, sexy, alluring heartbreaker? I want to tell him that I hate him, I hate that he reminded me of all that used to be, of all that could never be, of all that I used to love, that I hate him for making me long to see him and hear his voice again, that I despise him for staying so within my heart after all this time. I resent him for making want to lie in his arms again.

'Hello?' his tone is turning impatient. And I have to bite my lower lip to stop myself from saying anything. I wish he would hang up, because I won't have the strength in me to do that. And it is only matter of time before I say something.

He hangs up.

I feel tears running down my face. How absurd! I thought that hearing his voice would make me feel any better, oh how so very pathetic I've become. Taunting myself and entangling myself with hope and dreams of things that can never happen, of things that long since died within me and can never be retrieved. I have no capacity to live any longer, not in the way I have planned for myself to live at the very least.

An urgent knock on the door slaps me out of my frenzy. I eagerly jog towards it.

'Did you get it?' I ask as soon as I see Rebekah standing in front of me with a worried, and slightly anxious, frown on her face.

'Yes' she says shakily and extends the bag towards me while hurriedly entering.

'How accurate is it?' I interrogate as I extract the little device from the bag.

'He said that there is no particular criterion, but it can be pretty accurate if you are a week late' she says following me to the bathroom.

'Well, I'm two weeks late' I mutter, quickly snatching the device out of the box and reading the instruction. I hand Rebekah the instructions' paper when I'm done 'wait here'.

After I followed the directions thoroughly, I step out of the restroom to see Rebekah standing with a petrified expression that matches mine.

'It says the result will show within thirty seconds' she mumbles looking down at her watch.

'What if…' I start.

'Shhh.. you may not be' she calmly says without truly believing it.

'What if I am?' I whisper.

'We'll see what happens then think about it without panicking' she quickly dismisses.

I sigh, rubbing my temple. I am almost one hundred percent sure that I am pregnant, but a part of me is still hoping beyond reason that I am not, I am praying that the result will come out negative.

'Now' she says.

I gulp down, my eyes darting to Rebekah's unreadable expression. Slowly, I make my way back to the bathroom where I left the little stick on the sink. My heart is pounding, I feel like my whole life depends on this result.

I pick up the small device.

'I'm pregnant' I almost yelp.

Rebekah and I stare at each other, horrified, for what seems to be an eternity.

Loud silence fills the room, the only thing breaking it the loud thuds of my heart. I don't know if I am merely stunned or afraid, but either ways I am frozen, unable to move a muscle as I stare at Rebekah where we sit at the kitchen table, her face a river of emotions.

'Maybe it isn't that accurate' she says at last, breaking the silence 'Mistakes happen with these things all the time. Maybe it's one of those times'

'It's not' I mutter, my voice coming out strangled 'I've never been two weeks late in my life, Rebekah'

'Maybe it's just late this time, it happens all the time, too' she argues.

'Rebekah, I'm pregnant' I exclaim at last 'With _Tyler's _kid! I'm gonna bring a child to this miserable life!'

She clenches her jaw, her eyes narrowing as though a thought just hit her 'Are you going to tell him?' she asks.

'I don't know.' I shake my head, resting my elbows on the table and burying my head in my hands 'I don't think so'

The complication does not simply lay in the fact that I want to leave Tyler and telling him would only make matters more complicated than they already are, for Tyler also has neither the desire to have kids nor the tolerance towards them. And I cannot count the times he had been blatant and downright cruel about that factor.

_'Don't you dare get pregnant' _he has said once when I foolishly expressed my suspicion that I may be pregnant _'I don't want you to get fat and ugly and have kids running around here all the time' _he growled. Back then I was only three days late and my suspicions were mercifully incorrect. Ever since then, I have not dared talk about the subject. And the thought of having a child who will be tormented by having Tyler as a father made it more than enough for me to scratch the idea completely from my head.

'Does he want them?' Rebekah asks hesitantly.

'No' I quietly answer; looking back at her 'At least that was his opinion a year ago' I sigh.

'Well, if you tell him, is there a chance that he might make you have an abortion?' she fidgets in her seat, tracing patterns along the table.

'I really don't know. He can be very unpredictable and he would do whatever he can to keep me tied to him'

'The guy is sick!' she exclaims suddenly frustrated with the situation and shoots to her feet.

I watch as she roams around in the kitchen, my own tears overwhelming me 'I can't tell him. What if he uses this against me?' I quickly explain.

'Telling him is irrelevant, Caroline, you're leaving him anyway. So no you shouldn't tell him' she speaks through anger and frustration.

Panicking is no longer an option. I have to be in control of the situation and not let my fear get in the way of what I not only want, but also need. So I take a deep breath, swallow back the tears, focus my attention and think of my options.

'It's not the end of the world' I say, gaining back my composure 'What, now how long am I pregnant? Three weeks? Four? I still have time to get rid of it if I leave as soon as possible'

Rebekah stops dead in her track 'Yes. Your papers will be ready next week and then we can get you out of here and out of the country if we can and you'll get rid of Tyler as well as the baby or the fetus or whatever'

As much as I should hate her calling my child a "fetus" I can't. I, myself, have no desire in having a kid at all no matter how fond I am of kids… or how fond I used to be of kids.

'There still will be the issue of the money, though' I sigh

'That won't be a problem. Your paycheck, even if minimal comes in tomorrow, you'll stash that away for basics. I'll lend you some..' I begin to protest but she puts up a finger 'Just a loan, you'll pay me back. And Nik will lend you some, no doubt.' I can't help the slight flutter in my heart at her words 'I might be able to talk Stefan and Elijah into giving us something, too' she adds, as though talking to herself.

'But they can't know what's wrong, Bex' I protest.

She licks her upper lip 'Look, you have to face it, but Nik _will _find out sooner or later. And let's face it, his finding out is not the worst thing in the world, on the contrary. Now we won't say anything until you are out of harm's way and he is too late to break Tyler's jaw along with every bone in his body. And Nik's finding out means so does Stefan. Elijah doesn't need to know anything, though, unless necessary'

'What do you mean?' I frown.

She shrugs, dropping back to her seat 'He has connections, too'

I nod slowly 'But I'd really rather that I would disappear altogether where no one would find me and not have any of you dragged into this'

'That was when you didn't have anyone to get your back' she smiles 'don't you see it, Caroline? I am here for you. And Nik will be there for you, too. Even Stefan in his own twisted way will always care about you' her smile widens at the mere mention of Stefan

I smile back at her, the feeling of heaviness that was hovering above me since the morning leaving me instantly 'Thank you'

'Stop thanking me or I might kill you' she jokes.

I shake my head, chuckling.

'Damn I have to go' she suddenly says, staring wildly at her watch 'I have a client to meet with' she gathers up her purse and the little bag with the pregnancy test of which she would dispose of away from Tyler's prying eyes.

'What client?' I ask, following her to the front door.

'Future Mrs. Montgomery' she sings 'I'm planning her wedding'

'I didn't know that you're a wedding planner' I point out, although it is just so _Rebekah_.

'And now you do' she turns around and smiles as we reach the door 'I've always wanted to plan your wedding, remember?'

'Yeah' I murmur, looking down '_I_ always wanted _you_ to plan my wedding'

'You thought you would marry Nik' she whispers.

I gulp down at the familiar memory. It seems that his presence refuses to leave my side no matter how hard I try.

'I'll see you, Care' she hugs me 'It's going to be OK'

I nod silently, not trusting my voice should I talk.

She starts down the porch before I stop her 'Oh, Bex, can you please bring in my paycheck instead of them mailing it? I can't have Tyler see it in the mail'

'Sure' she nods urgently, stuttering towards her car.

When the door is closed and I am back in the kitchen, all I can think about is my approaching freedom. I've forgotten how nice it is to have people supporting you and protecting you on every turn. And ever since Nik's reappearance in my life three weeks ago, no matter how down Tyler makes me feel I am always reminded that hope is still there. And today, I will not worry about what can go wrong in this plan and will not see Tyler as an invincible monster that will destroy me and every stray of hope.

For the first time in so long, I hum to myself as I make dinner.

* * *

**I know I know, you guys want Klaus and Caroline to meet already (so do I :P) It'll happen around Ch 8, promise :D **

**And if this whole flashback thingy is confusing you, I can set up a timeline in the next chapter in the Author's note, you know, just to make things clear about what happened when. I do hope it's clear enough, though :) **

**And for all those who were depressed about the spin-off thingy, don't worry guys! We still have a lot to look forward to and nothing is solid. So take a deep breath. If any of you wants to rant though, fine me on tumblr (lostheart95) I'm always thrilled to talk to you guys.**

**Bye bye guys! I'll try to update sooner :) Please share your thoughts! **


	7. Holding On

**Why hello everyone! Yes, you're not dreaming, I am actually posting a new chapter after almost five months of complete MIA-ness. So a lot of craziness has happened to this fandom since I last saw you guys. And as I post this Candice got engaged or something? YAY for her :D Well, it doesn't matter, though. I am holding my peace on everything and choosing nonchalance! Because I am so done with TVD. **

**Now what took me so long you ask. First real life, then tension that led to the inevitable writer's block. Did I get over that completely? Eh, I'm trying. **

**So anyways, this is it! Sorry it's shorter than usual, but hey at least it's here. I know I'm not funny. **

**Oh and I should tell you, this is unbeta'd. Sister is quite busy and I've kept you guys waiting long enough so here we go :)**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Holding On**

* * *

_'So you're telling me that you got drunk on your sixteenth birthday?' Stefan asks the giggly blonde whose eyes were darting over to me far too much for me to handle this evening. _

_'Yes' she answers between chuckles 'Why is that so hard to believe. Drinking is literally the only activity we do. It's really an exception that we are having dinner tonight' _

_'And we are still drinking!' Rebekah exclaims enthusiastically and Caroline follows her in clinking their glasses of beers together in a toast for nothing other than drawing the attention of the group of guys behind them. _

_Stefan chuckles. _

_'So what happened after you got drunk two miles away from your hometown?' Stefan asks, clearly amused by Caroline's story. To be quite frank, I, myself, would have enjoyed the story much more than I am at the moment if her blue eyes did not hold a question every time she glances towards me. _

_I know that I am being a bastard. But the problem is, I am so used to the feeling that it no longer bothers me. Besides, it's better for her to hate me now than have all hell breaks loose should I bring up our passionate kisses and have them lead somewhere else –somewhere I desperately want to go, but would like to pretend that I know better than to act on that desire. _

_'Well,' Caroline starts contemplating, fixating her gaze on Stefan after giving me another glance that I return with a blank one 'I don't really remember. It was something along the lines of Elena calling her mom by accident, her mom calling my mom because, you know Sherriff and all, then, somehow, I ended up throwing up on my mother's deputy.' _

_'Oh my God' Rebekah chokes on her drink 'you never told me that' _

_'I never told you that I was making out with the bartender when mom showed up, either' she wiggles her eyebrows playfully._

_'You're joking' Rebekah shakes her head._

_'I am not' Caroline giggles again 'He was really hot' _

_'Didn't you get into trouble?' Stefan asks, his voice muffled with the mouthful of cheeseburger that he is currently chewing. _

_'_I _didn't, the poor guy left with a warning and bail or something. They were easy on him because he really didn't know that I was sixteen' She sighs 'I did pay the price, you know, got grounded for two weeks and all' _

_'Yeah hell of a punishment' Stefan mocks. _

_'And a terrible headache!' Caroline protests 'Not to mention Elena and I were not allowed to be seated alone for like so long, and were not allowed to hang out together without supervision'_

_'That must've been horrible' Rebekah laughs 'But you did deserve it' she shrugs when Caroline shoots her a glare. _

_'What? My idea of rebelling against my parents was to wear a leather mini skirt that father hated so much to school!' Rebekah explains 'But that's probably because I was so scared of father that I didn't dare do anything. My wild days started when I met you' Rebekah grins. _

_'You bet your ass' Caroline grins back. _

_'Oh no' Stefan sighs dramatically 'You girls are getting drunk' _

_They answer him with a laugh 'No we are not' Rebekah interjects 'It's just our normal attitude' _

_'Mhmm' Caroline nods as she bites into her cheeseburger, filling her mouth in the most adorable way I have ever seen. How does this girl manage to look beautiful, to look absolutely captivating in everything she does is absolutely beyond me. _

_'What?' she asks swallowing down her food when her eyes meet mine. It's only then that I realize I've been staring. _

_'Nothing' I shake my head with a stubborn smile tugging at my lips. _

_'This is literally the first word you've spoken this whole evening' she objects, wiping her mouth with a napkin. If only she would stop drawing my attention to her lips. _

_'I have nothing to share' I nonchalantly shrug. _

_'Oh come on. You must have a wild story to tell us. Now that we know that Stefan stripped when he got drunk the first time at his 21__st__ birthday and Rebekah's first one-night-stand was with the janitor of the school's dorm…' _

_'Hey!' Rebekah interrupts 'He's my brother! That story was just for you!' I grunt in displeasure. _

_'Oh relax' Caroline rolls her eyes 'He knows that you're not a virgin' _

_'I'd really rather not to think about it' I grumble 'let alone talk about it' I hear Stefan chuckling, obviously sensing my discomfort and enjoying it. He somehow finds it extremely amusing when I want to think of my baby sister as the innocent girl back home in England who always offered comfort even when she did not understand what for she was providing it. _

_'Anyways' Caroline dismisses 'Now that we know all of that, you must have something juicy up your sleeves' _

_'I can't, honestly. Or I would be considered a bad influence on Rebekah' I mock. _

_Rebekah snorts 'Your existence in my life is bad influence that's why you are no role-model of mine. Don't worry big brother, I won't be running to do whatever misdeeds you've done back in the days'_

_'Back in the days?' Stefan exclaims with a roar of laughter 'Oh, honey, you have no idea what he _still _does' I look over at him with raised eyebrows and he returns it with a challenging look, daring me to shut him up 'He's done it all; Partied till the morning, got high on Crystal Meth, on crack, Marijuana, woke up next to women he doesn't know, sometimes two or even three at a time, almost drug-dealt. I'm pretty sure he pole danced at some point' _

_'Ha ha, yes Stefan, I've done all that. Except for the last one, or if I did I really don't remember. But you were there with me every step of the way, so maybe you were there when I did' I smirk. _

_Caroline and Rebekah are a laughing mess right now. For some reason, they find this far more amusing than it really is. I cannot say, however, that I am not enjoying the ringing sound of Caroline's laughter. _

Damn it.

_'So what are you gonna tell us next?' Caroline says between giggles 'You started a rock band and slept with a guy' _

_'Oh he didn't sleep with _a _guy' Rebekah says, trying to suppress her laughter 'he slept with Stefan!' she bursts. _

_'WHAT?' Caroline practically yells, looking between the two of us. _

_'Here we go again' I roll my eyes. Stefan insists that it's funny and starts laughing all over again. _

_'You're not serious, are you?' Caroline asks with a baffled expression. _

_'Oh they never admitted it' Rebekah shrugs, a glint of mischief in her eyes as they meet mine 'but I'm pretty sure it happened. I mean they do _everything _together, they go everywhere together. You can only take it for so long before it gets really weird' she shrugs 'don't worry, though' she adds, taking my hand and his in both of hers 'I'll still love and support both of you when you decide to announce it.' she says solemnly. _

_'And I promise you,' Stefan says just as firmly 'that I'll let you be my best man in the wedding' _

_I can't help but chuckle at the constant joke that seems to amuse my sister so much, and even more, her blonde best friend who is almost dying of laughter. She looks one step away from falling off her chair. _

_'Well, I'm really glad we can amuse you' I tell Caroline who is now wiping her eyes. _

_'You really do' she grins at me. But I still see it, the confusion, the question and the tiny bit of anger in her blue eyes as they hold mine. For the first time this evening, I allow myself to hold her gaze for a reason that I fail to know. Perhaps I want to gauge a reaction from her, something that would drive her to tell me what she is thinking even though I am almost completely aware of it. Or perhaps I just want to see how far have her frustration got and how much longer will she hold it back. Or maybe I'm trying to plead for forgiveness after giving her a cold shoulder for the past three weeks or so after being able to taste her lips; a taste so exquisite that I can still feel it on my tongue whenever I look at her. _

_'Well, I apologize that I won't be able to provide you with entertainment anymore tonight' I rise to my feet, already jumping into my jacket and ignoring the look of disappointment in her eyes 'but I should get back home' _

_'So soon?' Rebekah frowns. _

_'Yes' I sigh 'I have to wake up early tomorrow. Dad is paying the firm a visit'_

_'Ugh' she wrinkles her nose in disgust but with a sympathetic gaze in her eyes 'Good luck' she says sincerely. _

_'Thank you, sister' I smile slightly. _

_I'm striding towards the door when Stefan follows up with a cheerful 'Wait for me, hubby!' _

_The girls burst into laughter again as I roll my eyes when his hand clamps down on my shoulder with a grin plastered on his face._

**. . . **

'So she told you that you're an unworthy father' Stefan says dodging the punch I threw at him.

'Yes' I reply, still focused on the game before 'She said, and I quote "I wish that I had never let you into Johnny's life" then hung up the phone on me'

'Wow' his boxer kicks mine in the shins 'she was the one who went out of her way to get you into his life' he says nonchalantly.

'Well, she was eager for me to get back into _her _life, really. Because, and again I quote, "She could have handled him just fine on her own"' I press incessantly on the buttons at the memory of her taunting words.

'And does she like think that saying those things to you will help you the least bit?' Stefan scoffs, managing to dodge another punch from my wrestler.

'No, of course not, she is sending me books about parenting' I sigh.

'Haven't you read those?' he grunts as though what I said personally offends him.

'A couple of them, yes' I say as I deliver a kick to his boxer that shoots him down.

'Dammit' he mutters 'seriously, though, what's her problem. It's not like you scared the kid or scarred him for life. You've just been distracted lately. It happens.'

'She says that I should get myself together in those couple of days during the week when he's with me and get my life in "order"' I almost growl out the last part, which causes my anger to rise and my wrestler to delivers the final shot to Stefan's 'There!' I smirk.

'Oh man! How come you always beat me at this game even though I'm the one who plays video games the whole time?' He whines, slumping back on the couch.

'Better reflexes' I shrug.

He rolls his eyes. I slump back on the couch as well, tracing patterns on the armrest as thoughts begin to dwell in my mind. It's been uncomfortable three weeks. There is this constant feeling of being haunted by something, something that I am failing to know what it is, I just know that it bothers me. Maybe it's Caroline's ordeal which I have no idea what it is yet that haunts me is what's making it hard to sleep sometimes, or maybe it's the feeling of unsatisfactory with my life, or the simple factor that I have not held a paint brush in almost three years for no reason other than complete lack of inspiration and a lump that forms in my throat whenever I look at the empty canvas and cannot change its status.

'Do you think she's right?' I ask after a moment of silence prevails 'that Johnny would have been better off without me in his life?' My voice comes out in only whispers as my hands continue to draw patterns on the fabric.

'Don't be ridiculous Nik. No one's better off without their father. You of all people should know that' my jaw clenches unconsciously at his nonchalance when it comes to that subject. For some reason, whenever it is brought up, I feel like the confused little boy again who wanted his father's love but never received any kind of affection from him. It has been a long time since I accepted that this feeling will never change, that it is one of those things that will haunt me as long as I shall live.

'Besides, don't start feeling sorry for yourself' Stefan continues casually 'It doesn't suit you'

I sigh.

'She might be right, you know?' Stefan starts with a teasing tone in his voice 'you are not the best role model. I mean you spend your free time playing video games and hanging out with me of all people'

I chuckle. If only he knew how our friendship drives Tatia crazy.

Silence falls between us again as I contemplate my next question. For almost three weeks now, I have been holding my tongue from commenting on his visit to The Five with Rebekah. The latter have kept her appearances to a minimum, something that is not quite characteristic of her, and Stefan avoided talking about anything that would remotely lead us to this conversation. Not to mention the glimpse of guilt that I have been detecting on his face, as though he knows far more than he leads on. One of the perks of knowing a person for almost twelve years is that you become acquainted even with their smallest gestures.

'When will I know about what happened to Caroline, Stefan?' clearly, my patience has reached its limit 'Or when will we talk about what happened when you went with Rebekah to The Five?'

He sighs 'I don't know anything, Nik'

'We both know that this is a lie' I snap.

His jaw is clenched in annoyance when I turn to face him 'Look' he starts 'I don't _know_, I kind of came up with a conclusion that's nothing but hypotheticals, so why would I bother you with that? Besides, it's Rebekah who decides when, or if, to tell you'

'Well maybe your _hypotheticals _can put my mind to rest' I try to stay as calm as I can in such situation. But the thought of Caroline being in trouble, or for all I know, being in pain makes my own heart ache. Ever since I saw her there has been this feeling gnawing on my heart, telling me that she needed help. Her image from our reunion refuses to leave my mind at peace. And my tone comes out involuntarily aggravated 'You know how much I care about her'

'And you know that you've been out of her life for almost four years now' he impatiently huffs 'She doesn't owe you an explanation and you don't have a right to know about her private life unless she wants you to. And she obviously doesn't'

My teeth grit together tightly to the point that it feels I will have a headache from the pressure 'So you're just asking me to ignore everything?' I spit out 'To ignore the fact that she is in trouble? That she is in need of help? That her situation is so dire that you and my sister are going out of your way to keep it a secret? That the woman that you, of all people, know how much I love and have never been able to get over is possibly in danger? You expect me to be fine with that and just sleep blissfully at night?'

'That is exactly my point, Klaus!' he almost yells 'It's time for you to let her go and move on with your life. Meet another woman, go back to painting, pick yourself up and leave that goddamned mind-numbing job you have instead of doing nothing but think about her and wondering what could have been if you haven't acted like such a dick to her. Caroline was not going to be with you four years ago and she most definitely will not be yours now or any time for the matter. So. Let. Her. go. It's for your own good.'

Not seeming to have any interest in continuing our half-conversation-half-argument, he races towards his room and shuts the door behind him.

I am left behind, more pained and confused than ever.

**. . . **

I do not follow rules, never have and never will. I do not like being told what to do and can never bring myself to think about shoulds and shouldn'ts before acting out.

This situation is no different. If anything, it is in this situation that these qualities can turn out to be quite fruitful.  
I have no more patience to endure this insanity. I've put up with their secrecy for long enough. I will go to Rebekah's house as soon as my work is over today and ask –no _demand_ to know the truth.

'Good morning, Nik' Rebekah says cheerfully as she enters my office.

Well, she will save me the drive to her place.

'Rebekah' I muse 'I was just thinking about coming to see you tonight'

'Well, if it's important you can tell me now. I have a rehearsal dinner to get to tonight. The bride begged me not to leave her alone in it' she rolls her eyes.

'Aren't you a life savior' I mock.

'Excuse me just because you do not realize the importance of wedding planning, it does not make it any less important' she says indignantly 'Besides I'm doing something that I like'

'Alright, sister, no need to be cross about it' I chuckle 'But I do, indeed, need to talk to you'

'OK' she nods 'but first, can you please give me Caroline's paycheck. She told me to drop it off at her place'

'The accountant has already sent it…' I dismiss, shrugging and start to say another sentence but Rebekah's horrified expression cuts me off 'What?' I ask instead.

'But it's only nine A.M in the morning' she practically shrieks.

'Yes we send them a day earlier so they arrive at the appointed time. Or in that case send Caroline's earlier. She's the only one we have working from home. Why is that such a big deal?' I frown.

The blood is literally drained from her face and she only gets paler. Her hands start shaking as she fights to extract her phone from her bag and starts fumbling with the buttons

'Rebekah, what's going on?' I ask her, my heart already pounding in my chest at the obvious panic in my sister's eyes and the terrified expression that she continues to wear as she presses the phone to her air.

'Come one, Caroline, answer the phone' she keeps chanting in a shaky voice before letting out a gasp.

'Rebekah what is going on?' I almost yell.

'Oh no, oh no it's disconnected!' she ignores me, racing towards the door.

I grab her elbow and spin her around to face me 'You're not leaving this office until you tell me what's happening Rebekah'

'You don't understand' she hisses, horror still evident in her eyes 'He'll kill her, Nik! He will goddamn kill her!'

With that uttered, she snatches her elbow from my grip and continues her run.

_Kill her? Who? Why?_

My mind is racing with a million thought, and the only thing that I can register is that Caroline is in danger. Nothing else matters. And I am halfway through the parking lot before I realize that I am following Rebekah.

She doesn't seem shocked to see me and is in too much hurry to argue about me jumping into the car with her. The drive is rather dreadful, far longer than either of us can endure even though I do not really understand what exactly is happening and even though Rebekah breaks every traffic rule that ever existed. Her hands are shaky on the wheel, her attention not the least bit to the rood and her eyes are wide opened. It is by sheer luck that we get to the house in one piece. She parks recklessly in front of the neat-looking house in the middle of a friendly-looking neighborhood. I do not have much time to contemplate my surroundings as I jog behind Rebekah towards the front door.

She knocks incessantly.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

And waits.

No answer.

'Caroline?' she screams 'Caroline open the door!' she tries again, knocking harder before trying to give the handle a twist when we are met with only silence 'Dammit'

I stand idly by, weighing my options. We clearly need to get inside to see if Caroline is OK? I shudder, not really wanting to think about the possibility of her being hurt.

'Does she have a backdoor?' I ask.

'No, none that I know of' she answers as though just noting my presence 'And even if she does, it doesn't matter it'll be locked, too' she is speaking hurriedly, tears brimming in her eyes.

'Then I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way' I nod 'Do you have a pin or a small knife?'

'Yes, yes I think I do' she starts fumbling with her purse until she gives me a small knife and a hairpin 'Keeps predators away' she quickly dismisses my questioning glance towards the knife.

'Watch the road and tell me if anyone approaches. I think we drew enough attention' I order, kneeling on my knees and starting to unlock the door like I learned with Stefan back when we used to break into locked rooms in our private parties out of nothing but curiosity. It's got us into troubles more often than not.

It's much more easily done when you are not drunk.

The door clicks opened and with the silence that follows its opening, the drumming beats of my heart become even more prominent. There is not a single sound in the house, not a single sign of human life in it.

'Caroline?' Rebekah calls out shakily as she steps into the hallway. I stay a few feet behind, taking time to swallow the lump in my throat.

Halfway through the corridor Rebekah and I part ways. I land in the kitchen. A knife is lying on the floor and the coffee machine is on. The pan was obviously set for cooking as oil shimmers on its flat expanse and there is bread in the toaster. I gulp down, unable to find my voice and call after her.

My heart beats are getting louder, stronger. It's pounding against my ribcage like a wild animal pound against the bars of its cell. I can almost feel it ripping its way out of my chest.

Rebekah shrieks loudly. Her scream of terror is a cross between my name and nothing but noise.

My legs can barely hold me as I race towards the source of Rebekah's screech, knees almost bucking at the simple thought of what she might have found.

I find myself in the living room standing next to Rebekah a second afterwards.

As frozen as her while I stare at Caroline drowning in her blood.

* * *

**I know, I know, cliffhangers suck. And they suck even more with the slowness of my updates. But I promise you I'll do my best to give you the next chapter as fast as I can.**

**Tell me what you think! **

**KBYETHANKS**


	8. You Found Me

**Hi guys! It's me again. So, luckily this didn't take as long as the previous one to be published so YAY! **

**I wanted to thank you guys SO MUCH for all the reviews and follows and favorites, they ALL mean TONS to me so THAN YOU! **

_**IMPORTANT:**_ **This chapter may be triggering for anyone who has been through miscarriage and even though I did not delve TOO much into it because a)My medical knowledge is so lacking b) This chapter isn't exactly appropriate nor does it serve the story. Still, there is mention of it, and I do not want anyone to be upset after reading this so you have been warned. **

**Also, genuinehummingbird on tumblr gets the credit for this chapter's title. She basically inspired me for it. And no, it's not because of Snow and Charming in OUAT, it's because of The Fray's song. Annnnd again this isn't beta'd cause my sister's lazy and I don't want you guys to suffer from her laziness AND mine! **

**Oh, and if you forgot, horizontal line means we're changing POVs :D **

**OK, I promise I'm done, ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 8: You Found Me**

* * *

There is only one time that I have seen a person as pale as Caroline. It was Henrik.

He was a dead corpse.

The longer I stare at her, the larger my panic grows. Shock paralyzes my senses as I remember the awful way in which Henrik was looking, so young, so innocent, so dead.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

_No!_ Seems to be the first thought that my mind can register.

_No! No! No! Not Caroline. Not beautiful, radiant Caroline. _

Not _my_ Caroline.

A lump forms in my throat, bubbling up and threatening to rise up even further. As a gasp escapes my throat, I back away and my eyes follow the path of my steps.

My shoes left a bloody print. I have blood on my shoes. I'm leaving bloody prints in my wake as I back away further. I have blood on my shoes.

I have Caroline's blood on my shoes.

The idea screams at me, shouts at me, tears at my mind and eats away at my heart.

Caroline's blood.

Caroline is as pale as Henrik.

Caroline is dead.

_NO!_

I don't know how or when did my brain order my body to move, but the next thing I know is that I have stepped into the puddle of blood and cradled Caroline in my arms. It's only then that I notice her name falling from my lips like a mantra.

'Please, please not Caroline' I hear myself chanting in a choked voice as I hold her in my arms, head resting on my chest and cold hand in mine. I do not know for what exactly am I pleading, but I have no power to stop the prayers. And isn't that just absurd? I am praying to a God that I don't believe in. I'm praying that He exists and that He would answer my prayers.

Pathetic. I would acknowledge the irony if not for my thundering heart beats.

I sense it then. She's breathing; shallow, short breaths, but she is breathing. I hold her tighter like she would slip away from me if I loosen my grip, like she would leave me alone if I don't try to radiate warmth that I very much lack into her cold, broken body.

From what seems to be thousands of miles away, Rebekah's voice approaches me; her voice is shaking as she presses the phone to her ear. She is talking quickly and I can barely register her words, I can only catch one coherent thought 'miscarriage'.

Miscarriage, Caroline had a miscarriage, something very much likely to happen to any woman. But there's something odd about this situation. I cradle her face in my hands, her pale face and delicate features making my heart constrict with pain. There's a cut on her lower lip, a fresh one. Did she fall? How did it happen? How did Rebekah know that she is in danger, that she will have a miscarriage? No, Rebekah said he would kill her, who is he?

I shake my head. None of this matters right now. Only Caroline's life matters.

**. . .**

I hate hospitals. They are such despicable, depressing and death-filled places. The gloomy doctors, the screaming and moaning patients, I honestly don't think anyone likes hospitals.

And I certainly don't like the feeling of helplessness sitting in a hospital's waiting room gives me, especially when it is Caroline's life hanging in the balance.

I sit hunched on the uncomfortable plastic chair, hands clasped and elbows resting on my knees, growing more irritable than I already am with Rebekah's pacing.

'She will be OK, I'm sure' she keeps chanting 'they know what they're doing. We found her on time' she would be quiet for a few seconds only to say 'Where the bloody hell is Stefan?' Then after a few seconds she would rewind this circle of hysteria.

Stefan has a meeting with a publishing company today, his phone would be off and he won't get her incessant messages until later. But I cannot tell her that, otherwise I would cut off her hysteric ranting. I want to snap at her but that would result in a meltdown that I am not exactly prepared for, not until someone would give us any kind of update on Caroline's status. The last we've seen of the nurse was when they took Caroline into surgery, something about incomplete miscarriage and a sentence packed with medical terms that my mind has absolutely no time or energy to absorb. Then she followed the group of doctors hurdling Caroline into the OR.

Rebekah picks up the phone again and practically shouts into it 'Stefan where the bloody hell are you? I've been calling for an hour now. Get your butt over here you prick'

Why is she shouting at Stefan and incessantly calling him? I have not the slightest idea. However, knowing my sister, she is more than likely to break down if she finds no one to let out her frustration at. Now that the pressure is removed from her shoulder and she has nothing to do other than wait –something that she is not particularly good at (Not that I am any better; it's a trait in the family clearly), she finds a distraction.

Rebekah takes a deep breath before adding calmly while looking at me through narrowed eyes 'And bring Nik a change of clothes while you are at it'

I do not bother to look down at my shirt to know what Rebekah is referring to… the blood stains that cover my shirt, surely.

I swallow the rising lump in my throat, trying to push away the thought.

It is not until an hour further that a kind-looking, relatively young doctor approaches us with a tight-lipped smile.

'Hello, I'm Dr. Walker' she says calmly. I don't know if her tranquil behavior disturbs or relaxes me 'Were you the father?' she turns to me with a smile that is so obviously fake, her eyes seem almost ready to narrow in my direction should I nod my approval.

'No he's not' Rebekah immediately snaps, shaking her head frantically. I frown, not knowing if it's an insult but Rebekah only sounded somewhat ….protective? Panicked? Something is increasingly eerie about this situation 'We are just her friends' Rebekah clears her throat.

'Well,' the doctor starts calmly again 'Miss Forbes lost the baby. She's lost a lot of blood and we noticed a bit of bruising during surgery.'

_Miss? _I remember Rebekah filling the forms earlier but whatever made her write Caroline's maiden name and change her marital status? I push my thoughts aside, focusing on the last part of Dr. Walker's sentence.

'Why?' I ask before I can stop myself.

'I was hoping that either of you would tell me' she says frankly.

'When we arrived we found her drowning in her blood' Rebekah volunteers 'Is she going to be OK?'

'Yes, she will' the doctor smiles slightly 'She will need some time to wake up from the anesthesia and will most likely be in a bit of pain for a few days, but you got to her just on time. And I suppose this incident won't affect her future in getting pregnant.'

I sigh ruefully 'Do you know what caused the miscarriage?'

Rebekah tenses beside me immediately.

'We are not quite sure' the doctor starts slowly, almost hesitantly 'she seems a healthy young woman from her chart and the bruising we found suggest that trauma might have caused the miscarriage. However, we rarely know definitively what causes a miscarriage and until the patient wakes up and give us a little more details, we can't be sure'

'Can we see her?' Rebekah asks eagerly.

'Yes, of course' the doctor smiles, gesturing with her head for us to follow her.

'She will wake up soon' she speaks once we arrive to Caroline's room, gives us another nod and smile then leaves us staring at the glass window of Caroline's room.

It bothers me greatly staring at her reflection through the glass as it reflects my own image as much as it transpires hers. And it is only now that I see the blood smudges covering parts of my white dress-shirt and perfectly understand Rebekah's distress over my appearance. I shift my gaze down to avoid looking at the unlikable reflection of my unnerved face and bloody shirt but I am greeted with the same sight. My pants have received the same treatment, and so have my shoes.

Caroline's blood is covering parts of my clothing.

I shudder.

Rebekah is about to step into the room when my earlier thoughts –questions, come hurtling back to the surface of my damaged brain, tons of them all rushing back, nagging at me, pleading –begging for an answer. I almost know the answer. That, however, does not mean that I want to think about it, I do not want to entertain that possibility in fear that it becomes a reality.

And honestly, is there any other alternative? All the evidence leads to one conclusion –one dreadful, frightening, awful conclusion. Rebekah's concern, the secrecy, Stefan's words, Rebekah's knowledge of the fact that Caroline was in grave danger, her panic over the sent paycheck, the outburst that he would kill her.

_ He? _No one called the husband…. Of course, they wouldn't, we brought her in. _We _are supposed to inform him. Yet Rebekah made no motion whatsoever to call Caroline's husband, choosing to send one panicked message after another to poor Stefan and to write down her initial name as an unmarried woman.

Caroline wanted to work from home. She looked hollow and empty the last time I saw her, the doors were locked. There was a knife on the floor and bread in the toaster.

There is a cut on Caroline's lower lip. The doctor found bruising….she said trauma.

I inhale sharply. I am no fool, even though in this particular moment I wish otherwise.

'Rebekah' I start, voice slightly trembling as I grab her elbow before she could enter the room 'Care to explain?'

She licks her upper lip, looking down 'Is there anything I need to explain, Nik? Isn't it obvious?' her voice is barely above a whisper.

I gulp down 'Rebekah, are you telling me that Caroline's husband…?' I trail off, clenching my jaw.

'She's been living in hell, brother' Rebekah softly whispers, watery eyes meeting mine, lips quivering 'She's been trapped and she wanted a way out'. Rebekah puts a soothing hand on my arm. She keeps talking in gentle whispers as if to lessen the shock.

I can no longer listen to her, my eyes travel back to Caroline, staring at her, my heart clenching between my ribs. The shock shuts down my senses, paralyzing as I stand gazing at her beautiful, captivating face; so breathtaking even in the midst of the most dreadful of situations, even as the blood is drained from it.

Then the disgust comes in waves. So many images cross my mind, so many brutal, heart-wrenching, mind-numbing, bone-chilling images cross my mind. I cannot stop them. They flood my senses, arousing rage and repulsion in their wake. I cover my eyes, as if that would somehow stop the offensive flashes, as if that would somehow wipe away the flashes.

They don't. And my shaky legs carry me away from my sister's tears-stained face, jogging aimlessly with a lump in my throat that I cannot swallow anymore, hot stinging tears burning my eyes.

I run until I find that little sign and storm into the restroom where I lose the contents of my stomach.

Only one thought is prominent while I vomit until absolutely nothing can come out of my stomach but the disgusted feeling refuse to leave me.

_I am going to kill that bloody bastard._

* * *

Sharp, stinging pain is all I can feel. The world is spinning like a whirlwind of endless hazy shapes. There's blood trickling down my legs. I can feel the warm red liquid gushing out of my system.

_Is this it? Is this how I will die?_

Well, I knew all along that Tyler would kill me.

Darkness overwhelms my senses.

**. . .**

They say your life flashes before your eyes when death finally comes. But I do not see my life. All I see is his face. Or perhaps I'm not dead yet?

_'Sweetheart, are you OK?' he says, kneeling down next to me. Despite the concern in his voice, it also carries a hint of smile that bothers me to no end. _

_'Yeah, I'm fine' I huff, irritated. _

_'I'm so sorry, Caroline, but you started it!' he chuckles, taking in my slightly reddened cheek from where his snowball smacked me in the face. _

_'I didn't hit you it the face, you jerk!' I push his shoulder and it only makes him laugh harder 'And now I'm cold'_

_'I have an idea that can warm you up' he says with a smirk. _

_Before I can protest, he's wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me impossibly close to him and running his hand up and down my back. I involuntarily lean into his embrace, inhaling his scent; eyes fluttering shut as I burry my head in the crook of his neck. _

_'Better?' he asks, tone soft and soothing. _

_'A little,' I mutter before adding more sternly 'but I'm still cold'._

_He chuckles again, the sound vibrating from his throat and sending warmth through my entire body 'Come on then, I'll buy you hot chocolate' _

_'OK' I sigh, reluctantly pulling away. He helps me up and wraps his arm around my shoulder as we walk. _

_'Don't be mad, love' he says, tucking me closer. I welcome the gesture far more than I care to admit 'You gave me a concussion. Literally' _

_'It was an accident!' I reply defensively. _

_'So was this!' he muses and I scoff. _

It is my life after all.

"Caroline, sweetheart!" I swear I can hear his voice, I can _feel _his arms around me.

I am most certainly dead.

**. . .**

There's light burning through my eyelids, a feeling that is never been something that I enjoy.

_Is this heaven? _

No, it can't be heaven. My head feels heavy, and my throat is dry. I can feel my whole body aching as I slowly regain my senses. There's an uncomfortable, if not a bit familiar, buzzing sound from what I assume is a nearby machine. A whimper escapes my mouth involuntarily when I shift in my place to cause another wave of pain through my aching limbs.

'Caroline?' it's a mere whisper.

Is that…?

I shift again; fighting to pry opened my eyes.

'Caroline?' he says again a little louder but soft all the same. A warm hand is resting on mine. He runs his thumb over my knuckles soothingly.

'Where am I?' the words leave my mouth before I can stop them.

In heaven, definitely in heaven –even if his voice is weary and my body is aching. His very presence just so clearly indicates that I'm in heaven.

'You're in the hospital, Caroline,' he soothingly says, squeezing my hand 'you're going to be alright'.

_Is this a dream?_

Slowly, and with great difficulty, my eyelids crack opened. I blink back several times, trying to adjust my vision to the light. It must be a dream; he cannot possibly be sitting next to me right now. It's a hallucination, I'll look around and find no one sitting next to me, or worst, find Tyler sitting next to me.

My tired eyes lock with his anxious ones. His eyebrows are pulled together in a frown and his lips are pressed in a tight line. He seems not only apprehensive but also…. Angry?

No, he looks livid. He is fuming and ready to burst into flames at any given second. His anger is not towards me, though, from the gentle touch of his hand and the way his thumb continues to draw circles on my knuckles absently.

'Nik?' it comes out as a question, and a stupid one at that. Yet I can't help myself when I add 'is that really you?' because he can't be anything but a fragment of my imagination.

He smiles. It's small and sad, filled with pain and longing. I do not like it.

'Yes, Caroline, who else would it be?' he tries to tease and fails for his tone is heavy and his face is hard and still frowning.

I swallow the lump in my throat, shaking my head as though that would somehow clear my thoughts 'How ... Um … how did you find me? What happened?' _how come I'm not dead?_

He drops his gaze, staring at our hands instead. His shoulders go stiff and his tone is hesitant when he speaks 'Rebekah got worried when you didn't answer her calls and I tagged along with her. We … found you in the living room and called an ambulance.'

'Oh' is all I can mouth.

'Caroline,' he begins after a moment of silence before sighing deeply and looking back at me as he adds 'you lost the baby'.

'Oh' I say again. I know I did, it is no surprise at all. From the moment that Tyler began his fierce reaction towards the paycheck he saw assigned to me in the mail box, I knew that the baby would not make it. I did not start bleeding however, until he was done with his punishment and left the house after locking all the doors behind him muttering something along the lines of "I let you get away with too much". And even though, it's no surprise at all, I feel moisture building up in my eyes. I do not understand why, I wanted to get rid of it anyway, so why am I so upset?

'Are you OK, Caroline? Do you want me to call the doctor?' he asks worriedly, wiping a stray tear away from my cheek. I relish in the softness of his scarce touch; it feels both familiar and strange.

I shake my head lightly again.

'Do you need anything?' He inquires.

'Just water' I mutter.

He nods, before standing up and reaching for a nearby table where he pours water into a plastic cup. Gently, so very gently as though I'm about to break, he helps me quench my thirst, cradling my head in one hand and holding the cup in the other.

_Does he know? He must know. Speaking of, where is my unlikable husband? _

Panic, suddenly that is all I feel, a million thoughts rushing all together to my mind as the image of my angry husband pushes its way to my mind. I abruptly sit up in my bed, ignoring the flame that spreads through my lower abdomen at the sudden movement.

'Tyler!' I squeak out 'I need to go back home, he'll start wondering where …'

'No' Nik's voice is harsh as he cuts me off 'you don't need to go back anywhere Caroline' his whole body is as rigid as a stone, his face an unreadable mask while his hands clench and unclench in a helpless attempt to leash his anger 'You are not going back to him' it's not a request or a suggestion, it's an order, a demand.

'Nik you don't understand…' I start, voice and hands trembling in harmony with the loud thuds of my heart.

'I perfectly understand, Caroline' he practically growls 'you do not need to go back'

_He surely knows. _

'But you don't, Nik… you think that you do but you don't' the sentences that come out of my mouth afterwards are absolutely incomprehensible, just a mashed up series of "Tyler", "He'll kill me", "He'll kill you", and "he knows".

'Calm down, Caroline' he finally cuts off my rambles with a sharp 'he can't do anything to you, and you are not going anywhere near that man again!'

'But…'

'This isn't debatable, Caroline, he almost killed you today, and you think we'll let you be within a mile radius from him?' he says angrily, fire ablaze in his blue orbs are they hold mine 'Don't be ridiculous! He won't touch a hair on you anymore.' he grabs my shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly 'I won't let him touch a hair on you'

_"You think you'd be able to get away from me Caroline? Did you think that your plan would actually work? I would have found you the next day. I would have found you and killed that Nik of yours, then I would have brought you right here, right back where you belong, bitch''_

I shudder at the recollection of his words. During his fit of rage, Tyler tore apart our bedroom and found the small cellphone and, unfortunately, found the thirty seconds long phone call between me and Nik, which was not really a conversation. No matter how hard I tried to talk some sense into Tyler's head, it didn't matter. All he saw was red and the cellphone was crushed as soon as he saw Nik's name. Not that it mattered if I could change his mind about Nik and the supposed affair we were having, my intent of leaving was enough to fuel his anger to no end.

'He said he would find me, Nik!' I exclaim 'he said he would find me wherever I was and take me back'

'He will do no such a thing!' he cries, his grip tightening around my shoulders. I gasp and Nik clenches his jaw. Whether it is with irritation or impatience, I do not know. He shuts his eyes, inhaling and exhaling as though to compose his self before he calmly and almost coldly says 'Then we'll make you unreachable'

I gulp down at the determination in his voice and the hard look in his eyes, shaking his hands off of my shoulders. I am no stranger to his temper and the way he shuts off whenever he wants to, building up a cold, hard mask that more often than not made me want to slap him. I never appreciated it back then, and I most certainly do not enjoy the hard glare right now. Slowly I back away in my bed, bracing myself and reclining away from him, almost certain that he would carry me out of the hospital and throw me God-knows-where to complete what Tyler has started.

_What am I saying? This is not Tyler, Caroline. Nik wouldn't hurt you, right? Not physically anyway… right? _

The conflict in my mind is reflected in my eyes, clearly, for he lets out a shaky, frustrated breath, unclenches his fists and curses under his breath. When his gaze travels back to my face his eyes are apologetic, gentle even, back to the clear blue orbs that greeted me when I first snapped out of unconsciousness.

_I don't need his tantrums; I can't deal with his tantrums._

Suddenly all I can think about is how much I want him out of the room right this instant. I do not want to see the pity in his eyes. I don't want him to look at me like I'm about to break, even though I am on the verge of mental breakdown. I don't want him in this room, period. Not when all he can see is helpless little me who has been suffering for longer than anyone can tolerate and has died a thousand times in a day. Not when all he can see is a ghost that looks like someone he used to love.

Someone he used to love but hurt all the same.

'Caroline…' he starts but is cut short when a blonde head pops into the room, releasing a relieved breath.

'You're awake!' Rebekah exclaims, striding into the room as a smile starts to stretch across her face.

All I see the next few seconds is blonde hair while her arms circle around me, muttering endless sentences about how glad she is that I'm alright. I return her hug immediately, shutting my eyes and letting the relief wash over me. When I open them again all I see of Nik is his retreating figure as he steps out of the room.

I don't know if I'm relieved or sad nor have the time to reflect on that for Rebekah breaks our hug and wiping a few stray tears away from her face says sternly,

'We are going to London'

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN DUN! I admit it, this has been a BITCH to write so please tell me if it sucked, because it probably did. Leave me a line here or come troll my askbox on tumblr (lostheart95) I love chatting with you guys :D**

**And, I have exams for the upcoming couple of weeks so don't expect an update UGH :( **

**KBYETHANKS**


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